rrennce

2011-06-25T03:30:00.007+08:00

i know that nobody reads this blog...
but still wanna post here.
smth happened recently...
i hope that my cousin will feel better n get over it soon...

ok, the reason i am posting here is not about what i just said.
its the horoscope.
just watched an old show about horoscope.
n remembered mine, which is Virgo.
so i googled it, n went to this website.
felt that what's written is very true, like srsly...

this is what's written on th website:

Traditional
Virgo Traits

Modest and shy
Meticulous and reliable
Practical and diligent
Intelligent and analytical
On the dark side....

Fussy and a worrier
Overcritical and harsh
Perfectionist and conservative
Virgo! About Your Sign...

Virgo is the only zodiacal sign represented by a female. It is sometimes thought of as a potentially creative girl, delicately lovely; sometimes as a somewhat older woman, intelligent but rather pedantic and spinsterish. The latter impression is sometimes confirmed by the Virgoan preciseness, refinement, fastidious love of cleanliness, hygiene and good order, conventionality and aristocratic attitude of reserve. They are usually observant, shrewd, critically inclined, judicious, patient, practical supporters of the status quo, and tend toward conservatism in all departments of life. On the surface they are emotionally cold, and sometimes this goes deeper, for their habit of suppressing their natural kindness may in the end cause it to atrophy, with the result that they shrink from committing themselves to friendship, make few relationships, and those they do make they are careful to keep superficial.

But the outward lack of feeling may, in some individuals born under this sign, conceal too much emotion, to which they are afraid of giving way because they do not trust others, nor do they have confidence in themselves and their judgments. This is because they are conscious of certain shortcomings in themselves of worldliness, of practicality, of sophistication and of outgoingness. So they bring the art of self concealment to a high pitch, hiding their apprehensiveness about themselves and their often considerable sympathy with other people under a mantle of matter-of-factness and undemonstrative, quiet reserve. They are still waters that run deep. Yet in their unassuming, outwardly cheerful and agreeable fashion, they can be sensible, discreet, well spoken, wise and witty, with a good understanding of other people's problems which they can tackle with a practicality not always evident in their own personal relationships.

Both sexes have considerable charm and dignity, which make some male Virgoans appear effeminate when they are not. In marriage they can be genuinely affectionate, making good spouses and parents, but their love making is a perfection of technique rather than the expression of desire, and they must be careful not to mate with a partner whose sex drive requires a passion they cannot match.

They are intellectually enquiring, methodical and logical, studious and teachable. They combine mental ingenuity with the ability to produce a clear analysis of the most complicated problems. They have an excellent eye for detail but they may be so meticulous that they neglect larger issues. Also, although they are realists, they may slow down projects by being too exact.

They are practical with their hands, good technicians and have genuine inventive talents, Thoroughness, hard work and conscientiousness are their hallmarks, and they are such perfectionists that, if things go wrong, they are easily discouraged. Because of their ability to see every angle of a many-sided question, they are unhappy with abstract theorizing. Appreciating the many different points of view as they do, they find philosophical concepts difficult, and they vacillate and have no confidence in any conclusions at which they arrive.
With these qualities, they are better as subordinates than leaders. Responsibility irks them and they often lack the breadth of strategic vision that a leader needs Virgoans are essentially tacticians, admirable in the attainment of limited objectives. Their self distrust is something they project on to other people and tends to make them exacting employers, though in the demands they make on those under them they temper this attitude with justice. They have potential abilities in the arts, sciences and languages. Language especially they use correctly, clearly, consciously and formally, as grammarians and etymologists rather than for literary interests, yet they are likely to have a good memory for apt quotations. Although they are well suited for careers in machine drawing, surveying and similar occupations, they are better fitted for a job in a library or office than a workshop.

Their minds are such that they need the stimulus of practical problems to be solved rather than the mere routine or working to set specifications that need no thought. They are careful with money and their interest in statistics makes them excellent bookkeepers and accountants. They also make good editors, physicists and analytical chemists. They may also find success as welfare workers, ministering to those less fortunate than themselves. They can be doctors, nurses, psychologists, teachers, confidential secretaries, technologists, inspectors, musicians, critics, public speakers and writers especially of reference works such as dictionaries and encyclopedias. Both sexes have a deep interest in history, a feature recognized by astrological authorities for at least two hundred years. If they go in for a business career their shrewdness and analytical ingenuity could tempt them into dishonesty, though they usually have enough moral sense to resist temptation. Female Virgoans may find a career in fashion, for they have a flair for dress, in which they can be trend setters. In any profession they choose the natives of this sign readily assimilate new ideas, but always with caution, conserving what they consider worth keeping from the past. They love country life but are unlikely to make good farmers, unless they can contrive to carry out their work without outraging their sense of hygiene and cleanliness.

Their faults, as is usual with all zodiacal types, are the extremes of their virtues. Fastidious reticence and modesty become old-maidishness and persnicketiness; balanced criticism becomes carping and nagging; and concern for detail becomes overspecialization. Virgoans are liable to indecision in wider issues and this can become chronic, turning molehills of minor difficulties into Himalayas of crisis. Their prudence can become guile and their carefulness, turned in on themselves, can produce worriers and hypochondriacs.
Possible Health Concerns...

Virgo is said to govern the hands, abdomen, intestines, spleen and central nervous system. Illnesses to which its natives are prone include catarrh, cold, coughs, pleurisies, pneumonia and nervous instabilities. Their natures make them inclined to worry and this makes them vulnerable to stomach and bowel troubles, including colic and ulcers. Male Virgoans may have trouble with their sexual organs. Both sexes are strongly interested in drugs and esoteric cuisine and as their delicate stomachs require them to be careful about their diet, it is essential that they treat their fascination with exotic food with extreme care.

LIKES
Health foods
Lists
Hygiene
Order
Wholesomeness

DISLIKES
Hazards to health
Anything sordid
Sloppy workers
Squalor
Being uncertain

PROBLEMS THAT MAY ARISE FOR YOU, AND THEIR SOLUTIONS

As with all sun signs, we all have unique traits to our personalities. When these traits are suppressed, or unrealized, problems will arise. However, with astrology we can examine the problem and assess the proper solution based on the sun sign characteristics. As a Virgo you may see things below that really strike home. Try the solution, you most likely will be amazed at the results. If you find yourself on the receiving end of the negatives below, it is because you are failing to express the positive.

Problem: Finding yourself frequently alone and unable to keep friends for more than a few weeks.
Solution: Try not to be argumentative over much and the constant criticism that Virgos give to their companions are not endearing qualities to have. Try to live and let live, they will love you for it.

Problem: People tend to avoid making close contact with you.
Solution: Being too preoccupied with health and making it a continual topic of conversation. Try to keep your tips and suggestions about health and health products to yourself unless asked for them.

Problem: Dissatisfied with the way your life is turning out; no excitement or change to speak of.
Solution: You may be restricting yourself by reducing your life to a set of theories and pigeon-holes. Try to express the positive by first asking yourself, Who or what are you serving; are you devoted or are you enslaved. Answer those questions and then start a new path that includes your true worth.

Problem: You may feel that your life and your climb to success is a steep hill that you may never be able to scale.
Solution: Try expressing the positive traits of your finely tuned analytical reasoning, employing the light touch with employees and coworkers, while expressing genuine concern for all; You will find those mountains turning into hills that you run right over.
Your ruling planet is MERCURY.

Mean distance from the Sun (AU) 0.387
Sidereal period of orbit (years) 0.24
Equatorial radius (km) 2,439
Polar radius (km) 2,439
Body rotation period (hours) 1,408
Tilt of equator to orbit (degrees) 0
Number of observed satellites 0
Some more interesting facts about your sign:

The Virgin is the entity that is associated with your sign. The above picture is of the grotto in Lourdes, France where the Virgin appeared to the children. In the upper right you will see a statute of The Lady. The Virgin imparts purity of intent to the actions of the persons born under the sign of Virgo.

The colors for Virgo are GREEN AND DARK BROWN

Your starstone is the beautiful, SARDONYX. The Sardonyx can be found with many different colored bands on it but the one suggested for Virgo is that of the reddish brown variety. It is in the quartz family and is mined around the world.

i know that this post is wordy, but since nobody reads it... =)

rrennce ♥

2011-06-16T18:57:00.002+08:00

its like finally, i'm updating my blog.
cause i'm always bz with my school and work.
sch, its alright, cos i'll graduate with a degree years ago.
but i'm sick n tired of my work alr,
and all th craps they giv me...
srsly, i'm overworking as a part timer
n that they are expecting too much fr me...
no other part timers are expected to do stocks, get familar with them
don't need to learn how to be independant with closing
but i have to...
its like... i am working as a full time, paid a part time salary...
ok, i accept that.
but they are giving my outlet too much pressure on sales...
th outlet i am in, sales is always bad.
n they keep asking for good sales!
how to hit them? impossible task...
i feel like quitting my job real soon...
but 1st, i need to secure another.
cos i can nvr survive with no income at all,
cos i realise that i am spending too much...
pocket money is not enough...
haiz...
but $7/hr is a great pay, hard to get 1 with same pay wit comm...
hope that i can secure a new job real soon...
den no nd to get so tired...

i don't get why she can't understand~

2011-05-11T06:58:00.003+08:00

supposed to go sleep, but i'll post a short one 1st.
i wanted his manniquin, sewing machine n all her 'clothes stuff''
but they threw it, lost n even gave it away.
then i wanted hers...
but cos my maid can't find,
hence i bought 1.
after buying that, i found overlock and sewing machine.
so i cleaned them, buy accessories and even kept them in a box i specially prepared for them
then she gave them away, to someone who's not involved in "fashion"
when i wanted it back, she said i'm selfish...
but hav she thought why i wanted his n her stuff so badly?
hav she ever wondered???
whatever, she's not going to ask it back for me.
but i am going to talk to that person to get them.
worst comes to worst, i'm going to change a few weeks old for hers.
though i like my new one, i can buy them again.
though its not worth it, i feel that i should get them back,
or else when i hav them mths later, its going to be badly spoiled.
i am willing to spend another $179 on a new one again.
cos th old one can't be found anywhere again...

stupid uh? i spent th whole night thinking about it, and decided on this.
i know that i can't hav th best of both.
so i am going to buy them...

2011-04-30T03:20:00.004+08:00

knew that i haven update this blog for ages. i know abt it, but don't have time to update.
th reason to blog, is cos of th sudden emotion and thoughts....
is it th emo season or what?
i start to kinda feel jealous of almost everyone around me.
its not out of th sudden, but all th while, i've been feeling jealous.
or rather i wished that i can have what they have.
a family as a whole.
its th sudden thought.
i wonder why things had become like this?
everything happened when i'm young, clueless about everything.
family. before everything happened, how is it like?
i had a dad, a mom, a sis, a bro.
though we get together few times a year, we still get together,
hav a dinner and a trip every year.
i had a dad who gave me whatever i want.
let me roller blade even when i'm wearing a mini skirt,
mail me my b'dae presents when he's overseas, get me whatever i want.
but when mom comes back to sg,
and i heard about th 'news'
i kept quiet!
though i disagree with their decision, i kept quiet!
though i know that it hurts, it will affect me for life, i kept quiet!
i've got no guts to even tell mom or dad how i feel.
don't even have th guts to cry infront of anyone.
i feel so useless right now.
why? i am pri 5-6 at that time. why?
why do i have to hide my feelings and emotions?
why do i have to act strong? act as though nothing happened?
i reli regret it...
its been years... think almost 10 years...
why? why do i still have that memory fresh on my mind?
i feel so useless as th oldest among my siblings, as th child that both my parents doted on th most.
they gave me everything i want.
i can see it.
but... i duno why, things became like this.
i hated it... like srsly...
how i wish that i can hav a family as a whole, where i can tell them how i feel and what happened in my work or sch life...
srsly, in th past when ppl mentioned their family, i tried to brush th thoughts of mine...
and i had to fake a smile.
i knew that i had to let it go, like what everyone who knew abt this said.
i wanted to...
but who can teach me, without getting knocked down by a car, and lose my memory?
as u know, both my parents are alive, and still contacting me...
howhowhow?! how to let it go, or forget about it?
how i wish, my heart is made of stone... won't feel anything...
then, i won't feel upset at times like this.
but then, i know that it won't happen...
i know, that i have to act as though as nothing happened, and put on th smile/blur mask
its th best mask, that can hide everything from everyone.
that can make me forget about everything for mths,
until a sudden night, when i think about all those happy~sad memories again.
know what? i srsly don't know what i want.
do fashion to follow my parents' steps?
so that i have more topics to talk with them, and can avoid th emotional part?
to prove them wrong?
want them to say that i did better than them or what?
i don't know.
i really don't know, and don't understand myself.
i don't know why i want to post them on my blog.
i didn't want my cousins to read them,
but i want at least someone to know, know about this.
but i know that at this time, i can't find a person to talk to.
cos i'll be disturbing them...
i dun want to disturb anyone with this troublesome stuff...
cos i know that no matter what they say, it helps for a while only,
but i'll still have that emotions coming back to me moments later...
how i wish~ everything hadn't happened...
that i can still be th girl that both my parents dote on th most.
that i can still have a trip as 5 of us every year.
to go to italy, where my parents promised to bring me to...

2011-03-26T02:12:00.002+08:00

Wow, haven't update my blog for a long time.
I had my accessment weeks ago, and now, its rushing for specialism.
After having my project brief, I realised that specialism is very fast paced...
Like I have to complete my garment & prepare for fashion show after 7 weeks?
& worst, the topic is on eco fashion & upcycling...
Gosh, I am not an environment person, so it is like... Not a topic that i am interesteed in...
Haiz, after being brief abt my assignments for term 4, I feel so stressed...
I almost flunk my sem 1 & term 3...
It is seriously risky, because I didn't complete my work.
But this time, I can't take the risk anymore.
Cause specialism, my lecturer can't request for extra marks to let me pass my level...
Haiz... White hair's growing... How?
Gosh... I hope that I can cope with specialism, and create my garment on time.

Its all over again.

2011-02-28T00:35:00.003+08:00

Haven't been blogging for a long time. This is due to school and work.
It is tiring me out, and cause of them, I can't do what i want.
Finding it weird abt why I'm like blogging outta sudden?
Cause I'm feeling... =x Kinda emo outta sudden?
Maybe cause of th novel I'm reading.
Abt this orphan, who got adopted by a vamp dad who used her n her sisters
to attract guys to their house, n (u all know what will happen).
I find that it reminds me of my family.
Not that I hav to attract guys, n u know what,
but that her family is full of secrets,
n her dad is like close, but full of secrets.
Making her feel lost, and confused.
I am feeling like that alil. I feel that there's alot that i should not know,
should not ask, and that if i ask, ppl won't tell me th truth.
I know, i am feeling insecure.
n worst, th eldest sis being insecure.
i know, that my siblings are old enough. n most of the time, they act more like th older ones.
but, it feels awful. really.
i find it unfair.
i really don't really understand th real meaning to live.
yes, i've got a goal. but it seems like it's influenced by them.
th person that i should have hated for causing me so much misery.
making me cry under my blanket, in th toilet, for years.
making cry so hard till my eyes turn swollen.
for making me cry as long as a year.
i really can't define my feelings to them.
they should be my closest kin,
i should rely on them right now,
but i really don't know what should do or feel.
i feel guilty at times, for making them feel bad.
but i really can't be close to them anymore.
i can't forget crying on the bathtub for hours,
coming out feeling faint cause of th hot water
trying to act as though nth happened the next morning.
i really don't know how to be th innocent young girl, imagining them bringing me overseas anymore
cos i know it's not going to happen.
no more trips with the 5 0f us.
its nvr going to be th 5 of us agn.
srsly, it sucks ok. my tears can't stop flowing.
but i find it unfair.
i don't really know what's happening , or what happened.
when they tell me, i don't know if it is true.
they've lied to me lots of times.
i don't know which is true, which is not.
really like the girl in th book, i feel like i'm alone.
my life shouldn't be like that.
at least they didn't plan it like that.
i shouldn't be at sg, if things didn't change.
i think i'd rather be like that.
though i won't be able to know my sec friends n my current friends.
but i'll be able to c the 5 of us tgh.
things won't be like that.
yea, ppl hav been telling me not to harp on it.
n that it is the past.
yes. it is past. it's been 10 years.
but i really still can't accept that.
this topic hav been brought up multiple times.
but i hav to act as though i am not affected by it, n brush those questions off.
it hurts u know, actually if i carry on talking abt them,
i am afraid that my tears can't stop like now.
i know my siblings ain't that affected by it alr.
but once i think abt him, them, and all of us in th past,
it feels awful. really awful.
ppl don't know how much i wish that i can be as lucky as them.
they don't know how sian mu i am.
they harp on their families, and i listened, thinking how i wish that mine is the same.
srsly, though i am 19 years alr, th amt of days i stayed tgh wit him added up is less than half of my age.
it is so unfair.
i know that i am harping on that.
but i can't help it.
those are still fresh on my mind.
like what i said in th past, how i wish that a vehicle jus knock me down, causing me to lose my memory.

2011-02-03T20:15:00.002+08:00

Yea, its LNY =)
ok, 1st day, I'm at home. cos i srsly need rest...
i miss being able to rest at home ok...
haven been staying at home the whole day for like... many weeks?
hmmm... =) reli enjoyed the peaceful time at home...
ok, said that i'll post abt bandung trip right?
actually i forget alot abt th trip alr...
ok, 1st day, arrived at jakata, den nick's chauffeur drove us to bandung
then we went to get stuffs at supermarket, n th mall.
2nd day, woke up reli late, cos we drank n watched movie at nite
went to th factory outlet, then to th same mall, shop for phones n cd,
ate in an interesting restaurant, drank.
hahas~ marie n nick gotta keep checking if their face is red anot...
3rd day, went to hav breakfast wit yunique's mum, cousin n niece
at a restaurant for wine tasting... but didn't drink, cos too early alr...
her niece super cute lah!!! =) i get to carry her... hahas
then went to ice skating =)
super fun... i wanna go ice skating agn real soon!!!!
4th day, woke up early, to but some pastries, bought my phone,
n then went to shop at th nearby mall, while nick went to cut hair.
after that, went to her house, watched slient hill, then dinner at some restaurant agn
5th, woke up, dressed up, then rush to th airport.
ate there, then fly back to sg after that.

so basically this trip, is more of sitting in th car while nick's chauffeur drive,
shop at th mall, and fine dine.
thats why i spent lots of money during this trip, though its at bandung, indonesia
btw, smth's wrong wit my small laptop, so photos wil be uploaded much later =)

ok, back to now.
now is cny day 3, cos i felt tired then i'm typing th post on top.
so day 2, is kinda different fr normal cny
woke up at 11+,
went to ah gong n ah ma's hse,
den sat awhile, ate alil
talked to dad, while he ask th usual questions, n talked abt my sch...
den left to marina area
went to marina sq, n saw my aunts n uncles...
hahas~ 2 families in total.
so qiao right? =)
den i got my 4th ang pao of th day in th marina sq, royal sporting house...
ahahas~ funnie right?
lalalas~ den wen to swensens to eat dinner, n saw my aunt n uncle.
ate with them, den went to th fun fair...
wow... i played 2 games in total, n its definately th highest one...
didn't rmb th names, but i can rmb how my sis scream beside me...
hahas~ made me laugh so hard up there lah...
when i am upside down, my hair is like... whoo~~~ hahahas~ so shuang =D
den after that, tried to walk as fast as i can to cityhall mac, cos my legs are hurting fr my heels =(
cos of th heels, i've got lots of blisters, and some wound...
when i apply medicine jus now, i can't even talk, cos its too pain ='(
so after mac, we went home. & yup... =)

2011-01-14T03:05:00.002+08:00

Back from Bandung, and sch start alr...
=/ been so bz that I can't find time to post abt bandung...
maybe i can only post during my hols during may?
i need to find time... =( i'm feeling tired due to sch and work...
hope that i still can cope...

2011-01-01T00:45:00.003+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!
HOPE THAT U'LL ENJOY 2011!!! =D

=) Another year passed, & this year is a totally different year.
Instead of waking up early everyday to wear uniform, tie hair, go sch,
I actually wake up much later.
Sometimes go to sch, sometimes go to work...
Changed work environment for a number of times too,
& in the end, i choose to stay at Kiehl's
for ard 11 mths =)
cos I love th ppl thr, th things I am required to do, and also my pay =)
Actually, I feel that this year, I start to 'grow up'
Th type of life I lead is as that of an adult.
Major decisions made by me, and my mom won't object to things I request.
Its like a totally different life ok...
I've met my classmates in LASALLE,
Been close with some,
& still communicate well with others,
( except for times when george asks me to smoke... =/ )
Had many shopping trips with marie, dora, yunique and navi.
& had lots of fun.
Even though I had so much fun and changes,
I also met with obstacles...
Like how to get used to this kind of life,
and th negative points of my life...
Hahas~ gotta prevent myself from being a 'bad girl'? =D
=/ though some 'targets' i set for myself,
I didn't really achieve.
But I hope that in this year, i will be able to do that =)
The most importantly is time management.
I need to be faster in everything...
2nd is being organized. I find everything too messy for me....
3rd is to change all my bad habits.
=) Hope that i can change myself to be a better person by next year =D
& 2011 august will be my 2nd year, which is lvl 1 fashion...
Hope that I can do well in it =D

2010-12-26T04:27:00.002+08:00

Merry Christmas!!! =) ytd's christmas... though i'm alil late, but nvm =) ok, i didn't post for quite some time alr... basically its just work, slack at home or maybe 1 or 2 days meeting with friends kinda bored of work these days... =x maybe without peiying, its not fun... but its also th kind of customers i meet... =/ haiz... how i wish that we hav got to target n all...
lets talk abt th eve n christmas itself... on th eve, woke up quite late, cos i'm exhausted due to work... then rushed to kovan to buy stuffs to pack th room, ask my maid to bring it back. after that, went to serangoon to meet agnes, to hav our dinner then, walked pass orchard to 'feel' th christmas atmosphere... at 9+ its alr damm crowded outside paragon... couldn't get our way out of th crowd lor den after that, we walked on, then go home... btw, she told me that she heard that he's coming back permanently its kinda surprising? cos i dun think he'll be back so soon, n that i know that he won't want to be in sg for long... to him, sg is not a place for him, i think in a few mths time, he'll leave for another country lalas~ den for christmas which is ytd, its blading in th wet, east coast beach =) i love blading, but today didn't exercise much, but my legs got so pain, cos of heels and blade... but nvm =) i kinda enjoy this 2 days...

2010-12-11T02:16:00.002+08:00

srsly, i've got alot of things repeating on my mind that i wanna blog abt...
=/ but cos ppl that know abt this url, knows me...
hence its inconvenient...
haiz... =/thats th prob with blogs....
when u let ppl know, its not very convenient to post negative stuffs...
lallaas~ forget it...
hmmm.... i'm bz wit work these days... its tiring...
n my back hurts...
hahas~ btw i've got gastric today...
hahas~ i'm laughing cos, its like... th 1st gastric after so many years?
talking abt gastric... i still can't forget th cny that i threw tandrum, n skipped my meal...
den in th end, i've got gastric... which is during pri sch...
thats th 1st gastric pain =) v.happening right? hahas
yea, i said after so many years right?
not that i dun skip my meal... i oways skip my meal...
but i usually got sweets... so won't hav gastric...
but today, i've got gastric when i'm working =(
=x nvm =) hahas~ th way i say, sounds like gastric is a big thing...
but no, lalas~ thats what i happen to think abt...
hahas~ so i jus type it out lah... =D
since i can't blog abt... alot of things~~
hahas~ nvm, going off alr... ltr ar 2pm, i've got work... so its best that i go prepare to go sleep right now...

2010-12-07T04:42:00.002+08:00

=/ its dec 7 alr, meaning that i am safe, and i won't need to re-submit... =)
lalas~ i think that my bio-clock is screwed...
nah, no need to think... i woke up at 8pm ytd, means that its alr screwed...
lalalas~ haiz...
i wanted to shower n go to bed early today, but marvin asked me to chat,
n we chatted till 3am...
lalas~ btw, i am trying out mrc today =)
texture-wise, i think that it feels like ufc, but just that it is oil form...
i think... i like ufc better, though both giv me a soft skin feel...
but then, alot of ppl tell me that they like mrc alot, and that its good... =/
maybe cos of th radiance skin?
lalas~ but i'll c th result of that tmrw...
if its good, maybe next time when i purchase from staff purchase, i'll get th delux or samples of mrc...
its $90 each bottle... =/ alil too ex? i duno... that, i'll decide when my pay comes...
haiz.... i think i am obsessed with skincare products these days...
spending lots of money on them =( cos its ex...
but... no matter what, everyone need to care for their skin...
or else, by 25, they'll regret it...
haiz... change topic... or else my heart will ache for th money spent...
talking abt money... i overspend alr... =/
haiz... hope that i won't use th money from th other acc...
cos once i spent th money, it'll be hard for me to put them back alr...
lalalas~
btw, i might be going to th indo on jan... =)
to shop, n live in yunique's house...
lalas~ i hope that i won't spend alot of money over there, though its for shopping...
haiz... christmas is coming...
its making me miss th christmas spent at hk during pri 2...
its th most memorable and enjoyable christmas...
no matter what, i won't get to experience that feeling and happiness agn...
emoing? kinda... i really miss those days u know??
guess only sis knows what i am talking abt...

shopping shopping shopping!!! =)

2010-12-02T07:52:00.003+08:00

ok, i'll talk abt ytd... cos today... its still early for anything to happen
=) ytd went checkup n shopping wit my colleagues,
peiying n janelle
woke up early to go bugis, then take shuttle bus kk
den after that, went to th temple wit peiying
den went to shop at bugis street...
=x we all didn't mean to buy anything at 1st...
but ended up buying lots of stuffs
then we went to hav desserts, then pool...
after pool, we went to eat, den sit ard...
after that, go home =)
realised that my etude house hand cream =)
like my prev post, i am beginning to care for my hands alr...
=( cos in sch, i hav to deal with materials that makes my hand rough...
so... i'm beginning to buy hand cream...
nnn hopefully, peiying remembers to giv me th hand cream n 2 dresses....

how i wish that money just falls from the sky...~

2010-11-28T02:37:00.002+08:00

wondering why i post this picture?
i finally purchased this foundation, after so.... long
so after that, applying foundation and sunscreen will be much faster
haiz... but after purchasing this, i bought a lash serum
and 3 eye masks =)
=/ and th total amt adds up to $51.50
yea... i alr set aside $100 for facial care this mth...
but shopping, i think i spend more that i set aside...
haiz... =( gonna overspend real soon...
i hope that i won't finish this mth's pay, and then start to splurge my other acc's
urgh!! =/ why this mth's pay so lil??? not enough for me to spend during th holidays
=(
forget it... haiz... tmrw going to work in parkway agn...
sian....
parkway so sian de... no customers walking in...
haiz... ok, i think i'll stop blogging alr... going to check my bank acc n buy smth else =)

Interesting Ads

2010-11-26T01:27:00.002+08:00

haven been blogging for quite sometime...
cos i gotta chiong my finals...
during that period, i got so stressed up that i find that i dropped quite alot of hair =x
and also sigh and frown all the time...
but in the end, =( i handed up half-done final works,
even though i stay up all night to rush them...
haiz~ i alr know that on 1st dec, i'll recieve a call from erzan telling me that i gotta repeat,
or that i'll need to resubmit on 13 dec ='(
no choice... i alr did my best...
if i repeat or what, its my life... everything is part and parcel of life...
just that my weakness is that i focus on details,
and that i spend alot of my time on them... as a result, i don't finish all of them...
sucks right? like how i didn't finish almost all the papers during o's
haiz... my fate...~
btw, after i submitted my works, i went shopping and movie wit clique...
=x slept during th movie
den walked alil in ion... oh my gosh... i wanna buy some clothing!!!! =)
n i saw lots of nice boots that make me wanna splurge on them!!!! T_T
goshgoshgosh!!! i sound like a shopaholic... =x
i jus got my pay today =) meaning its time to shop alr...
but today got work =( haiz... parkway somemore...
n worst, next week, i'm working in parkway most of th time...
haiz... 1 hr bus ride... =/ hope that i won't be late agn....

btw, u guys must be wondering why my title is interesting ads?
hahas~ =x cos i saw those ads when i'm looking for image ads for ccs,
and find them interesting... so i post them here to share it with u guys =)
th 1st one is interesting... hahas~ an ad for handcream =)
hahas~ wrinkle on hands is more obvious than face...
telling ladies what they had overlooked
then 2nd 1 is shaver on baby's face...
telling ppl that using that shaver, men can achieve baby's face... hahas~
its kinda impossible, but it attracts consumer's attention, so that they will notice and buy th product...
hahas~ i talk like as though i'm having lesson... =x but its interesting... =)
hahas~ maybe next time if i c interesting image, i'll post it here, to show ppl...
cos i know that my blog is pretty boring... =x
lalas~ gotta sleep alr... ltr got work at 1... =/
bye =)

does one show their real self when the camera is facing them, or not?

2010-11-16T00:12:00.003+08:00

monday, ccs last lesson...
=/ submitted my response notebook, though its 95% done
told susie, n she said that she's going to deduct 15 marks =(
hope that's only a joke...
lalas~ but last lesson means that no more text on photography agn =)
its been 3 weeks alr...
den we debated on this topic 'does one show their real self when the camera is facing them, or not?'
but susie didn't declare who to support agn... =/
nvm =)
haiz... monday passed... so from now to thursday, i'm going to stay at home to do hw
not going to step out of my house alr...
sounds like hardcore choinging hw?
yea, but i really need to finish this up asap... no choice but to do that lor...
lalalas~ i'm going to sleep real soon...
need to spend 12 hours to do work tomorrow...

2010-11-04T16:51:00.002+08:00

i'm actually blogging here, right now, to tell myself to complete my assignments...
its 18 days to assessment alr... i gotta start my 3 finals...
thr's no time alr srsly...
haiz... after assessment, i need to clear th house alr...
after o's i cleared th house, knowing that i need space...
but after i go lasalle, i realized that lasalle's assignments are much bigger than i thought... =/
so now, house is messy, n i've got to space~~
lalas~ these days counting down to assessment... i've got lots of stuffs to do after assessment~
n i promised to meet up many people after assessment...
hope that i've got enough time to keep those promises~~ =x
btw agn,
RENCE! START DOING YOUR 3D, 2D & DRAWING!!!!!
NO TIME ALR!!!
CHIONG FOR ANOTHER 18 DAYS & THEN SLACK ALL YOU WANT!!!
CHIONG FINAL!!!! DUN DO OVERDUE WORKS ALR!!!!

2010-10-29T01:16:00.002+08:00

going to sleep real soon =x
haven been blogging for ard 1 week?
haiz... i can't catch up on my work...
haiz... monday is the submission date for illustrator and ccs =/
but after those 2 submission, i'll be doing only my 3 studio finalwork alr...
2d, 3d and drawing...
then after assessment, it'll be holiday!!
haiz... =x kkk i think thats all for my work?
=/ i gotta really rush my work until assessment...
i hope that i can finish my final asap, so i can actually help my sis to make a mask =D
to prove that spotlight mask with deco, can look great =D
but thats what i hope only...
cos most likely, i'll rush throughout the last night =x

2010-10-21T02:04:00.002+08:00

i know that i should be either sleeping or rushing my work right now.
but cos tmrw is thurs, th lessons are quite slack
haiz... th reason why i didn't sleep but came here to blog, is cause i need a place to complain
i'm seriously behind time alr...
can't even catch up on a single module...
its like... i think i need a full whole week in order to catch up...
but i jus can't...
how i wish that i can self declare holiday...
i think i really wanna cry to distress right now...
but crying doesn't help...
though i'll feel better, but my eyes will be swollen, and tmrw i'll have tired eyes.
srsly, i need time to myself to finish up my assignments,
and sleep.
but i can't just tell my manager that i can't work...
=/ so i must persevere... haiz... i really hope that i can catch up with the rest asap...
i wanna finish up my illustrator, photoshop, 3d, 2d, and drawing asap!!!

2010-10-18T05:20:00.002+08:00

i'm actually here posting, as i'm lazy to go shower =x
yea, haven shower n remove make up,
cos i took a nap at th living room b4 i shower jus now =x
ytd's an interesting day as well =)
didn't sleep th whole night to rush pei ying's wedding gift
it didn't turn out well, cos of my oven...
then showered n all, then meet n1 peeps at th park opposite anchorvale cc
cos they planned it to be a picnic =x
but cos i'm tired, n wearing a dress,
i didn't play with them, but took a 30 mins nap
after that, suddenly a cake popped out =x
hahas~ cos they celebrating my belated b'dae =x hahas~ 1 mth after th actual date.
then they sang th song n i blew th cake awkwardly =x
it still feels weird when i am in th center of attention...
then they played games till 5+, n we all left tgh...
went home, changed, n touch up, n bring th gifts with me to tamp...
met janelle n william at tamp.
=x they said that my gift looks alright.
hence i brought them to th venue =)
went there, signed, giv red packets, took photos, then go in
saw candy n jasmine there =)
then after sometime, angeline n her bf reached.
=) th whole dinner is like a kiehl's gathering...
th dishes is alright.
but after eating halfway, everyone felt damm full,
n even william, who kept asking us not to waste food cannot finish them alr...
hahas~in between, peiying n her husband took photos wit us =)
then after desserts, took wit peiying agn. then when angeline n candy left,
i took photos with jasmine =)
ytd's a great day agn, cos i didn't touch my assignments.
today i decided not to go to sch, cos no illustrator...
so i'll be going my hw b4 going to work ltr at 6pm =x
hope that i can finish my wire hand asap...

2010-10-17T00:10:00.002+08:00

in th bus, otw home alr =)
enjoyed my time at east coast park...
haven been blading for a looooooong time~~
i really wanna go blading agn real soon... cos i wanna lose weight...
today rebb said that she can see my tummy alr =x
cos i haven been exercising alr... no sit ups, no yoga, no pe...
thats why i'm gaining weight, at my tummy n arms... =(
haizzzz... i'm feel so tired now...
maybe i'll slp in th bus ltr? hope that i won't miss my stop agn...

haiz... =( i can't get my memory card off my digital cam!! T_T
uploading of photos might be ard few days ltr to a week ltr?
maybe i'll go sim lim after sch to ask why it can't come out...
cos seriously, i dun like to use th usb cable...

2010-10-16T18:11:00.002+08:00

=/ currently in a bus, on th way to east coast park =)
this is actually a norm week, except that i'm much more tired alr...
keep hoping that its th weekends...
ok, th most happening day on th week is friday alr...
its th ccs presentation day...
woke up late for grp meeting, then rushed to wear my blazers n heels for th presentation.
th presentation was pretty alright, but that i'm v.v.v.v.nervous =x
at a point of time, i was actually stammering... =x
then after that, went to a jap restaurant behind lasalle to eat,
then rush to drawing lesson... =/
ok, zero told us that its outdoor lesson, that made me wanna die... :'(
cos we're all in heels n formal clothes...
hence we struggled all th wan to smu...
actually he wanted to bring us to mount emily...
but it'll kill us... =/
throughout th journey, dora almost fell quite a number of times...
=/
then after that, we went to th venue, spent hours to draw perspective drawing,
then dismissed... =/
after that, we went to th inside of smu to do some of out illustrator hw...
but i went to do photoshop instead =x
=) i like photoshop more than illustrator... cos illustrator's mesh is v.time consuming...
after that otw home, i broke my heels... =(
today, woke up late, then rushed to cp to meet th gals...
bought gift, headed to miss tong's hse to celebrate jiaxuan(chloe)'s b'dae =)
she's grown alr... eyes bigger, cuter >< n also =x she looks slim =/
after that, we went home, and i proceeded to complete peiying's wedding gift,
then go out to take bus to east coast...
haiz... i thought that i can upload pics on th bus... =x but i hav probs taking th memory card out...
so i jus blog 1st lor...

2010-10-11T02:02:00.003+08:00

=/ i'm doing my illustrator assignment, when i thought of blogging...
so here i am =)
actually i kept telling myself to blog... =/
but i dragged till now, cos i stm... =x
haiz... agn, its a boring, bz n tiring week for me...
realised that my attendence for term 1 is 80% =/
meaning that i'm going to hav a warning letter alr...
then i've got tons of assignments to submit oso... =(
haiz... for weekends,
was working ytd, till 3pm
then went to starbucks to do my illustrator hw...
n wth, i spent 1 hr to do my illustrator, n then suddenly not responding... =/
n i didn't save u know?!!
its like... wtf... =/
then for today, working at 3-10
so i brought my lappy along too...
to do on bus n on break
so i carried my lappy to th macdonald outside...
then bought my mcspicy, upsize...
th moment i stepped outside th door, n walking over to th seat i wanna sit,
i realised that i dropped my meduim green tea to someone's chair....
heng nobody sitting there...
cos thr's oni me n i am carrying a lappy, i didn't wan to buy another green tea...
so i jus sit down n eat my meal...
while eating my meal, a guy came up to me, n gave me a medium green tea
n i realised tat its th guy tat i almost poured water to =x
felt to surprised, ps n guilty... =x
i didn't expect someone to buy me a drink back, and also that i was eating =x
then didn't hav time to respond, let alone say a thank you =x
haiz... i duno wad to say,
but i jus feel that i'm oways unlucky, n as well as lucky... a mixture of both... =/
when i experience sucky stuffs, its really sucky...
then when i experience great stuffs, its really great... =x
so i am average? guess so...

2010-10-03T23:46:00.002+08:00

ok, i should be either sleeping or doing my hw right now... =/ its illustrator tmrw... sian...
haiz... last week, can only be described using 1 word... unlucky... =(
supersuper unlucky k...
monday ton to finish my 3d,
tuesday my form got selected for 2nd round
wednesday end lessons, then help angeline get her shoes,
thursday passed to her her shoes, then lost my phone otw home
friday recieved a call fr my phone, but no time to get them, cos i gotta rush to work,
cos i got 1.5 hrs after sch to reach pp.
but drawing ended late, n took 20min to take a cab.
after work, i slept on bus 43, atw to punggol.
took 43 back to sg
sat, slept till evening, then do alil work.
sun, wake up super early to rush to work, to find out that schedule changed.
meaning i no work...
=/ wad a waste of time...
then had lunch wit peiying n janelle,
then get th wedding invitation fr peiying =)
haiz... though i wasted lots of time n money today, i enjoyed.
but this week... =/ sucks... i wasted lots of money n time for nth...
nth... =( sian... i felt that i'm super unlucky...

2010-09-30T23:45:00.002+08:00

haiz... boring week... =/
this whole is more of like abt 3d...
cos stellah asked some of us to bring it on fri agn...
haiz... i gotta repaste th masking tape... n i'm like doing nth now...
=( cos i lost my phone...
seriously, my phone is th most impt thing i hav...
much more impt than my lappy... ='(
cos it contains all my contacts n some impt info...
wth man... it sucks to lose my phone...
i've been finding it since 8.40 till now
i think i dropped it otw home...
n most likely, on the bus when i'm sleeping... =(
it sucks man...
its like... everything's alright this whole week except for thurs?
go to sch late, went mount emily park, n it rained for 2 hours
then after sch, went home to help colleague take shoes to tamp
otw home, i lose my bloody phone.
yea, my phone is worthless...
its not ex, n my sim card is prepaid card...
but it acts as my phonebook, gadget to send msgs, to re-read my msgs,
my clock, my alarm, n gadget to keep my infos!!!
T_T
can't believe that i lost my phone jus like that...
it just sucks...
I NEED MY PHONE BACK!!!!!
T_T... i'm actually too tired to cry... but i really want to cry out...
it sucks!!!! IT SUCKS!!!! ='(
I WANT MY BLOODY CHEAPO PHONE!!!!

2010-09-26T17:32:00.003+08:00

=/ got waken up by elton's sms in th morn...
he said uncle larry cancelled his lesson, n he can go to tamp...
=/ but cos i'm tired, n i still haven finish my hw,
i told him i'm not going... =(
haiz... how i wish that i can go too...
=/ but cos of... 3d...3D 3D!!!!!!
haiz... i feel sooo... left out missing out on this... =/
hope they can organize another similar event... =)
lalalas~ jus woke up not long ago...
had a great sleep... =)
haiz... hope to finish this asap!!
i wan to finish, n get over with my 3d asap...
hate this Sumatra assignment!!!!
URGH!!! I WAN NEED TO HAVE A BREAK!!!!!
I WAN A HOLIDAYS!!!!!!

2010-09-26T01:22:00.002+08:00

ok, i'm supposed to do my 3d now... =/
but taking a break here...
started at 7pm, cos i woke up at 4,
drag till 7pm to do my 3d =x
if dora's finding out, she's going to giv me th fierce look alr =x
haiz... but i did th research n thinking for 3d from 7 till now... =(
spend alot of time hor?
haiz... cos i choose a hard topic agn...
finally thought of how i wan my form to look like alr...
n from now till morning, i should finish deforming my 4 forms...
i hope?
haiz... actually today n1 hav this movie outing...
was keen to go, but cos of my work... =/ didn't go lor...
n then tmrw got this dance competition organised my uncle larry... =/
wanted to go wit elton, but elton just told me he can't, cos he got lessons wit larry... =/
so i think i won't go out agn tmrw, cos i duno anyone thr... =/
lalalas... i hope that i can find some food... =/
at home is so boring, without food!!! =x
i mean junk food...
i keep looking at th fridge for smth to munch on... =/ but can't find anything nice...
haihaihaiz.... =/
okok, i think i my break is too long alr...
i'll get smth to drink, then back to 3d agn... =x
hope that i can finish everything b4 tmrw... i dun wan any sleepless nights agn... =(
i hate using the time supposed to slp, to do work...

2010-09-22T00:09:00.003+08:00

Blogging using my big lappy.
supposed to print out some stuffs from the learning portal...
past 1 week... was quite bz until thurs n fri
friday was my b'dae =)
recieved 100+ wishes on fb, n few face to face fr my lasalle classmates
after sch, we all stay at basement, n i took a nap =x
den after tat, we all went to shala's hse for visiting... =)
had a great time eating, watching movie... =D
i love the almond with chocolates!! =D
hahas~ stayed till 10+ den went home...
=/ missed the last bus, n cab home from there...
sat, its visiting agn =D
went to hakim's hse n haikal hse in shala's clothing =)
=x not used to the long skirt, cos i can't walk fast...
but i still wear that till at night.
=) watched devil after visiting hakim's hse...
scary movie... dora n marie got scared to get into the lift after watching that...
hahas~
den after that, rushed to haikal's hse, cos he's slightly unhappy...
then ate till the night, n took mrt from jurong east home...
=/ btw, alex said i sound like i'm from china, n that i've got george's accent =(
n then winny also said that she thought i'm from vietnam =(
ok... its the 8th nation ppl thought i am from alr...
i duno y ppl just can't tell that i'm a singaporean...
=/
sunday's work, boring... =x
monday's make up lessons of 8 hours...
gm 9-12
ccs 12.30-2.30
drawing 3-6
dozed off during gm n drawing =x
then after lessons go cp to buy my ruler... =/ troublesome...
today, slept till 5 then slack till now...
after blogging, gonna start to print my stuffs, n also start on my drawing, n 2d... time's running out!!!

Picture of me on sat, with marie n navi

My MIS video, title named The Sad Widow

rantrantrant...

2010-09-14T22:52:00.006+08:00

seriously, i'm experiencing what i experienced exactly 1 year ago...
the stress, lack of sleep, racing with time...
didn't slp for 3 days last week, cos of work hence i didn't do my hw...
but last sat n sun, i wasn't working...
instead, i worked on my clay... =( but there's still not enough time...
this week is actually my clay n mis workshop deadline...
spent 2 days working on clay, n mis... cos i dun have th bloody mac n imovie,
i had to borrow my friends' macbook...
n cos my friends also need to complete their mis,
i gotta keep waiting n waiting...
i pratically did my mis 3 times alr... cos nobody knows how to save the files to my thumbdrive...
actually i almost had to redo the whole thing,
that made me seriously...
mad, n i almost flare up at ppl who talked to me...
cos i've got lots of stuffs to do...
i haven write my mis statement, haven print my cd pictures, haven burn my cd,
haven do my research n print out the development n idea of my videos,
and HAVEN EVEN DO MY 2D!!!!
yea, i wanted to throw tandrum at everybody, n cry out loud real badly...
in the mrt, i nearly cry... cos i can't stand it...
i hate racing wit time, i hate not sleeping to do my hw...
it just sucks!
i knew i will experience this even b4 i join lasalle
i knew i will be stressed out
but its too soon
school started for a mth oni...
n workload is...
i duno... =/ i am scared right now...
scared that i can't take it
scared that i wanna quit
scared that... i duno...
i am scared that i might do anything rash...
i seriously wanna cry now...
but i'm in the living room, where everybody can c me
I HATE EVERYTHING!!!!! I WAN TO FINISH MIS ASAP N SLP!!!!

ok, finished ranting...
but i think cos of mis, n other assignments, i won't hav th party mood on fri... =/
but forget it...
as i said, i stayed up all night for my clay modeling right?
here is my clay model photos...

i know it doesn't look like me... except the eyes?
thats wad others said...
btw, my model got selected for exhibition...
so my hardwork got paid off?
guess so...
but i wish that i won't work so hard...
how i wish that i won't wan everything to be perfect...
if i didn't work so hard to make things perfect, i'll have enough sleep,
won't be so stressed out n stuffs... =(
haiz... i duno lah...
i'll upload those photos in fb soon,
and also my mis videos once i submit it tmrw =)
after tmrw, i'll SLEEP!!!!!
then slack for 2 days, then project week alr...
i blocked the whole project week to do my drawing, 3d, 2d, ccs, n peiying's wedding gift... =x
haiz... =/ my classmates like wanna organise outing leh...
think i'll go out 1 day max if thr's any outing?
n stay at home to do work like dora =)
hahas~ i'll take dora as my role model, stay at home n finish my work asap...

Eunice's advance b'dae & Steamboat with colleagues

2010-09-12T08:23:00.004+08:00

haiz... in the end, i didn't finish my clay modelling by ytd... =(
ytd, woke up wit lots of msgs n calls...
then i got a call fr eunice to go to her b'dae celebration.
so i went after doing my clay for abt 1hr +, while they went to buy gq's amplifier.
=) so i saw kelly, jon, gq n kevin...
its like... super long nvr c kelly n kevin alr lah... few mths or years?
hahas~ fun forcing kevin to call me kor =D

lalas~ then when they go out to play pool, i went off to take a train to bugis...
=) met up wit angeline, janelle, uncle huaxiong, n uncle jordan...
hahahas~ =D
then ate steamboat...
=x actually i'm not th steamboat buffet type of person,
cos i dun eat lots of food thats provided,
and that i duno how to cook!! =x i dun even know if a meat is cooked anot lah...
=x but uncle huaxiong like keep giving me pork like tat... =/
but i wanna take mutton de lor... =(
lalas~ den i nvr eat seafood n stuffs =x
when we're eating halfway, i got a call fr tm store that they hav no key...
=/ then angeline gotta go back to lock th store, when juliana stay back.
but after angeline went off, we were quite full alr... so cont to finish cooking th food on th table,
den try to finish as much as possible, then ate ice cream =D
lalas~ uncle jordan super lame.... =/ made me point th hand-sign multiple times!! =(
& uncle huaxiong asked me to take a pic of janelle ( auntie ) wit jordan ( uncle ) =D
hahas~ n i edited it lah... wit th love shaped border... hehes~
=x
tats called revenge lah... who ask both of them, try to match make me,
& uncle huaxiong...
keep saying th other person good, n ask us to consider th other 1... =/
listen till sian alr... =x
lalalas~

after ice cream, we all paid, then took a bus home...
reach home, tried to do my clay...
made th lips smiling, pinched out some clay fr th nose,
redo th eyes, tried to make the cheeks look like mine.
=/ it looks decent alr... but doesn't look like me at all... =x
or rather, i wasn't really focusing on th face... thats y i dun feel it looks like me.
but seriously, its kinda creepy to do clay modelling at night...
=x cos th clay, i made th lips smiling, n i keep staring at it...
was kinda scared that th clay will blink or even talk...
its like... OMG man... =x scaryscary~!!

2010-09-11T04:40:00.002+08:00

ok, i know that i didn't blog for a long time alr...
i missed out on th yog opening post...
yog over alr lah... =/ th opening... =x speechless...
not perfect? i can c flaws n all... =/ the rehearsal on th exact day sucks.
then after yog opening, its the start of LASALLE lessons alr...
woah... actually the 1st term is going to end in a week's time. =/
then its project week alr =D which is right after my b'dae...
yea, term 1... SUPER BZ!!!!! =x 6 modules...
i can't even cope with it lah... =/
monday clay modelling... =/ it takes a long time to mould a clay like how u want it.
wads worst, moulding my own face... =(
tuesday, 3d... all the 3d assignments takes time...
and wad i dun like is to do documentation for both modules... =/
need to do out the object, then take pics, upload, print
URGH!!!! =/
wednesday, mis n 2d...
i hate mis... troublesome!! only can do it on imovie... =/ when i dun even have a mac...
then it makes me confused lah... i dun even have inspirations for videos lah
2d... hwhwhwhw kills me alr... =/
thursday, th most slackest in the whole week... =x
grey matters n ccs =D
on wednesday night, its the only night when i can slp.
friday, ccs and drawing,..
drawing is pretty alright. but except that i need to do research... =/
i hate research lah!! all the modules have research lah!!! =(

lalalas~ i had a long weekend this week... 4 days =D
ytd, do hw then go to work.
today, went out then to work.
tmrw, gonna stay at home to do my assignments, then go eat steamboat wit colleagues
sunday, STAY AT HOME TO DO WORK!!!!!

i needa clear up my work alr...
i dun wan to stay up all night to clear up my work agn next week...
i really wish to clear up my whole week's work by sunday, so that on mon,
i can clear my mis by monday... =x

haiz~~~ =/ birthday is on 17, this coming fri...
but cos of all th work n all... =(
i've got no mood to celebrate at all... yunique or marie said that i should watch horror movie on that day... =x
but horror movie on b'dae... =x feels weird?
haiz...~~
i'm feeling old alr...

oh ya, i didn't talk about my lasalle friends...
hahas~ had a great time with my lasalle friends... =)
all super funnie de... we all like to joke n call nicknames
laalallas like... beby call george perv...
haikal call winny sleepygal
i call mervyn johnny bravo...
hahhaas~ =x super fun lah!!
n being with marie is super funnie...
even on the phone, when i hear her talking to her sis, i can laugh till my stomach ache hahas~
=) its fun calling navi mummy too hahahs~ =D
th gals n haikal love asking abt their daddy... hahahas
lalallas~ =x

btw, i gtg to shower alr... =D
=x took a nap after i reach home...
=x fr 12am till 4am... =/ on alarm at 1am le lor... but i can't wake up at all...
haiz,,,~~

2010-08-12T03:42:00.002+08:00

Today, or rather yesterday is the final YOG rehearsal alr.... =/
thought that this time will be better, cos we're not that confused alr...
But in the end the whole segment is screwed...
Its not cos of th LASALLE model's fault...
its th fault of th timekeeper...
they don't let us get to the backstage, and still ask us to relax...
Then when we're allowed out, th kids are running towards us...
That caused th delay of th models, getting on stage... =/
Nvm, but when the models jus got on to th stage, the music stopped!!!
super.... !@#$%^&*(
Cos th music stopped, th models panicked, n left earlier than asked.... =/
Leaving me alone, walking to th centre of th stage, cos i'm th 1st model... =/
In the end, i leave wit th left side...
Gosh, its the last rehearsal before exact performance,
& this kinda of thing still can happen...
I really hope that on th exact day, such things won't happen again...
Imagine making this mistake in front of the international tv???
Gosh... =x lets pray hard that no more communication prob at th backstage agn... =/
I'm th 1st model, n i dun wan ppl to c me, n think its my fault...
Haiz... the rehearsal made me super tired, but cos of th learning portal thing,
I stayed up till now... =/
Tmrw still got to go to the Asian Civilization Museum ACM
lalas~ heng 4.30 them meet...
or else i'll die man... =/ hahhas~ but i think that we're th last few class leh...
nvm =) i can enjoy th lightnings, n then buy my art materials after that... =/
But b4 i meet my classmates up for tmrw, i still gotta go sch to pay sch fees... =/
haix... hope i won't be late... cos late fine $100
I dun wan to waste the $100 for nth... =/
lalas~ i've got other stuffs to do now... =x i'll carry on blogging other day???

Finally, after so many months~~

2010-05-30T15:42:00.005+08:00

I know that i haven been updating my blog for a loooong time...
N i know that i did not post about the class outing on april... =x
Cos i dun hav th time to do so, cos of my work...
Actually i wanted to really list out what had happened these few mths...
But cos i've been dragging on n on, i think its best to summarize all of them to a short post =)
I've been busy these few mths... =x RSH & Kiehl's...
Its super tiring, cos all my off days for RSH, i got to Kiehl's.
Then during my both company's off days, i either hav appointments, or slp th whole day...
=/ yea, n i thought that finally i will hav more free time after i quit RSH...
but after i quit RSH, Kiehl's gave me more work days... =/ so... no rest at all lor...
=x but i managed to block out my roster in Kiehl's th whole of the last week of july... =)
Cos i need time to myself lor... n need to buy my art materials...
Oh ya, i didn't mention tat i've got a new lappy, cos my grandfather bought for me... =/
Though i dun reli need a new laptop yet, but i still accept it... =/
Thought that a macbook would be better for me... but my bro, keep going against mac... =/
But he dun understand y i wanna mac... not cos its chio, but cos i'll need it in future...
but nvm... since he helped me get them, i just let them choose... =/
if i need a mac in future, i'll buy it myself...
Dad called few weeks ago, to 'teach' me how to design good garment,
after he learnt tat i got in to LASALLE fashion design...
=/ overseas call to my hp... but yea... jus listen to wad he hav to say lor...
& yea, sch started alr...
Orientation is crap... =x cos it isn't fun at all...
But i'm beginning to like my class n sch more... =)
Though most of my classmates are smokers, which i dislike... =/
But they are easy to approach, and fun =D
Hahas~ they are funnie too =)
oh ya, thr's 1 common question asked in my sch u know?
'which country u're from?'
hahas~ its like v.diff fr polys... cos my sch hav got lots of foreign students...
like this korean gal, Hara, super shy... hahas
=x cos we hav this east coast outing,
we hav to collect items to create a postcard... then 1 by 1 present them to th class...
when its her turn to talk, she's so shy tat she gotta keep taking th postcard to cover her face...
hahas~ =)
nnn 1 of my guy friend in Lasalle was asked this question ' r u a gay? '
hahahs~
damm funnie... =x yea, my sch has got a few gays n lesbians... =x
yup, but i can get along wit them well too =)
hahas~ overall... yea, thats th summary of roughly wad i had gone thru this few mths... fr april till now i guess?
sch started alr... n i hope to cope well =x i dun wan to be like in sch sch,
constantly trying to catch up wit everyone...
Yea, n i oso wanna tell everyone...
i took part in th yog opening performance =)
helped as a model for my lvl 1 fashion students... =D at th 2nd last segment =)
=x will be wearing a wire dress wit balloons =D
so ppl, if u free during th opening, can go watch tv... hahas =x
n i should be either th 1st or 2nd model =x meaning... if i make any mistake, ppl can c...
=x hope tat i won't make any mistakes...

Completed Painting of Kindergarden Wall

2010-04-02T04:22:00.003+08:00

as u all can c, th mural is beautiful, although it is not perfect... =D
I LOVE THE MURAL!!!

th past few days~~

2010-04-02T00:55:00.002+08:00

wow... its been ages since i last posted on th blog...
lalas~ lets start fron 25th... i went to interview at rsh, n got a job =D
meaning tat i won't be bored at home alr... =)
then 26th... yoga... tiring... but i love it!! =D
27th worked at tm... lalas~ sales that day rocks man!!
hahas~ i hit 130% leh...
den jasmine helped me ask for 5% comm... meaning $65!!
then 28th... watched movie wit sis.... i think its when in rome...
=D i like th movie =)
hahas~ i think its kinda weird... cos i am th type who dun believe in luv...
but i love watching those romance movie n drama leh... haha
maybe its like for me to hav fantasy abt romance... but its oni during th movie oni lah... =x
then 29... i slept home th whole day,
30th, painted wall...
waa... finally finished painting th whole wall alr...
lalas~ th person thr made me so pek chek, that i dun wanna perfect th whole art alr...
but overall, it still looked nice...
=D i reli love th feeling when u look at ur hardwork...
reli got th sense of achievement lah... thats th reason y i took art, n chose to perfect my art despite of wasting my time... =x
nnn that is also th reason y i wanna take up fashion =D
i reli love th feeling lah!! =D
31st... i think i slept at home agn...
1st april... met up wit al, jason n earnest...
ate at subway, n chatted for a looong time... =)
but earnest was super quiet...
it feels like al n me chatting, den sometimes jason jus add in...
but earnest... so damm quiet lah... like during pri sch like tat...
i rmb sitting wit him during p-6...
n th whole of tat year, i didn't talk to him... =x cos he got no reaction de...
like jus now, i ask him to giv me a hi-5, he DIDN'T!!! T_T
den al n jason kept laughing lah... so damm ps...
lalas~ after th lunch, i went to lasalle to giv th tution grant form, then to phss
i took my cert, my art den go bandroom...
butbutbut~ I REALISED THAT MY TESTIMONIAL PRINTED WRONGLY!!!
it has got jess's name on it... =/
then i went to general office to tell them...
jus nice, mrs lim thr... die lah...
she asked who's my form teacher, n said tat she gonna scold him!! =(
diediedie... i think i caused mr lim to be in trouble...
then mrs lim asked me... if i need th cert anot...
cos they hav to help me change...
then she asked wad sch i am in... i said lasalle,
den she asked... design?
den i told her fashion... then... she said 'next time need costumes find u'
its like... wow? maybe its a joke lah... but... =x i dun think i can take up those if th sch approaches me... cos i too cmi alr... exp th speed...
lalas~ den after tat, left sch, carried my art to cp, eat wit band,
den walked home wit sabrina... =D
I LOVE MY JUNIORS!!! =D
lalalas~ so that's th end of my whole day!! =D

2010-03-25T03:44:00.002+08:00

lalas~ painted th wall for the whole day...
i got my 6-7 class tee painted during th painting process T_T
th whole thing is tiring, but fun =D
nnn at th end of th day, we all can c th fruit of out labour =D
rebb, joann n al took pics... =x but i look hideous there... =x
lalalalas~
was being random jus now, so i went to search my name online...
know what i saw?!!! i saw this...

" Welcome to the Rence google satellite map! This place is situated in Nova Gorica, Slovenia, its geographical coordinates are 45° 53' 24" North, 13° 40' 7" East and its original name (with diacritics) is Renče. See Rence photos and images from satellite below, explore the aerial photographs of Rence in Slovenia. Rence hotels map is available on the target page linked above. "

wow, i didn't know that my name is a place on earth!!! =D
its interesting!!! i reli wanna go there n take a look at it 1 day =)

2010-03-22T22:29:00.003+08:00

i know i haven't been blogging for a long time... =x
lalas~ been slacking these days... =x
den ytd i worked at ps...
lalas~ worked wit ivy, nikki n kiehl's boys
ivy n nikki are veri nice!! =D
cos i forgot almost everything i learnt at ion boutique,
but they weren't angry or harsh to me =)
n they chatted wit me, n dun giv me pressure =D
working wit kiehl's boys are great too,
cos they made th shop livelier...
i oso listened th wad happened during their events b4... hahas~ i pity them~~ =x
lalas~ u all know what?
b4 i left for my break, i hav had a customer, who bought th whole ultimate white products n sunblock worth $538!!! =D
i love them man...
its like half of my sales that day lor...
butbut =/ in th end, i didn't hit target =(
but nvm =) cos working at ps is fun n great!! =D
den during my break, i called janice, n she asked who i am working wit...
when i told her i oso got work wit kiehl's boys,
she asked if they are handsome... hahas~ but i told her tat i dun look at guys de lah...
but kiehl's boys are handsome... cos if they weren't handsome, how can they be kiehl's boys??
lalas~ btw, i thought kiehl's boys age should range fr 18-24
but... after i asked them they are how old, i realised there's 1 28, 24 n 20
wow~~ they look so young lor...
lalas~ they also tried to take a receipt to exchange for movie tickets...
but in th end, got dark chocolates instead... now, th chocolates wit me... hahas~
cos nobody fr there likes them =x
lalas~ overall, its great working wit ppl in ps!!
btw, i forgot to add in... wahtoon went to ps too!!
he said he wanna take samples cos he going bangkok i think...
so shuang... he keep going overseas lah!!
b4 training, he went new york i think...
then last mth he went china
this mth, he go bangkok... =/ so sian mu...
wahtoon called me, n he said he at ps
den sae he shy, dun dare to come in...
when i told ivy, she ask me to ask him come, n tat our batch de kcr damm shy n quiet...
then when i use ps phone call him, he went to mrt alr... =/
after hrs, toon came agn, to take his samples...
but in th end, rare earth cleanser no more sample alr...
left blue cleanser n yerma bate cleanser... so... i think he took blue, cos he dislike yermabate...
lalas~ hahas~ i think like wad ivy said, he is shy...

2010-03-13T06:10:00.003+08:00

haiz.... class blog... =x its hard to make ppl go in, n express their views leh... =(
feel so shi bai lah... th picnic thing oso th same...
how to plan? if nobody helps me, n i am th oni person planning, sure shi bai de...
all th while th outings all ppl help me plan de... =x example th last buffet wit band, tang helped me =x th prev outing i suggested ppl help me plan... i oso duno wad to do... =/ how?...

2010-03-13T06:05:00.004+08:00

i admit... i oso think that i sound like a les...

class blog

2010-03-04T11:00:00.002+11:00

5N1!! go to th Class Blog!!
i jus changed th blogskin... it should be alil better i guess?
go class blog n update smth leh...
post pics u've got, like some unglam pics or smth?
or maybe organize outings, or chat thr...
aiya, u all can do anything to make it livelier!! =D

spects =)

2010-03-04T05:17:00.003+11:00

lalas~ who's tat nerdy gal above?
its me!! =D
lalas~ on monday, i went out wit agnes,
then cos nvr buy anything... so just buy a spects lor...
everybody said tat th shape not nice... =x
but i feel tat it suits me... =) cos other shape de spects make me look like a freak...
i feel that this spects make me look like an ordinary girl =)
but ppl, jus ignore my hair... i tied my fringe up once i reach home, cos it won't block my vision... =x

lalas~ back to th post i stopped last tuesday...
tuesday sales worst than monday's... its 442... meaning comm is $4.20 oni... =/
but then wednesday, cx n me did alot of precautions... like pasting coins on calculator n eat lots of 'fish waffle' =x
hahas~ duno its cos coincidence or wad... cos we over-hit our target =D
meaning cx got 130%, i got 120% n store got over 120% =D
so, my comm is 4% which is ard $51 =D
wow.... tat day, i earned ard $100 liao lor...
lalas~
then thursday, i got 'off' its a last min kind of decision... =/
so, i slept half day, n den met cx to pass her keys
on fri... slept half day agn... den woke up, washed up, n went to hg mall to buy yoga pants
den i went home to change, n went out to meet al...
both of us was late...
den find a hand towel for al, bought some food, n den went to yoga classes, cos we thought we were late...
but in th end, we were early!! den waited for class to start at th side lor...
yoga was so-so... but i jus realised that i am not as flexible as i am during th past =(
cos i felt th pain when i tried to stretch... but nvm... i'll try to train...
lalas~ den after yoga, went to eat smth wit al... n saw th guys... blas~
den went home alone.... n know what? I SAW A RAT!!!!
=x omg... tat tym super shocked lah... duno if i should scream, or run home... =x
but in th end, i didn't do either of tat... i waited for th rat to go into its 'hole' den carry on walking =x
lalas~ den sat... off agn... =x slacked at home th whole day lor...
sunday... worked wit m & j...
same as last week... hahas~ alil funnie lor...
den agn, i didn't hit target... =/ but i sold th new products =)
th spf 50 sunscreen... but i dun think got sell th whitening eyecream... =x
haiz... n on tat day, i realised... i've got no assignments this whole mth... =(
janice told me to find a 2nd job... cos waiting for assignments is useless =/
i oso think so... but a job wit 7/hr veri hard to find... =x
haiz.... nvm, i'll take my time to find it =)
on monday, went wit agnes to pay sch fees... at LaSalle...
den went to bugis, den to orchard...
went to shaw to watch movie... th wolfman...
not bad =) but th sound effect scares me... =x
den went to far east awhile, den to ion...
saw jess n pau at ion... den i realised, tat sistic seemed to be at ion =x
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!!! =x cos didn't shop at ion... BUT ITS MY WORKPLACE LEH!!! =x
maybe, next time, i got to explore my workplace le... =x
since customers like to come in to ask for other shops =/
lalas~ den ate, n den go home...
tuesday... woke up, go sq hse, met rebb & sq,
cycled to cp, den to rp den to rebb's hse den to rm...
took rebb's phone, den back to rebb's hse cos sq said wan dye hair...
but in th end, she changed her mind... den she went home, while i played majong wit rebb's family =)
its fun... but i feel tat i cmi leh... =x
cos i jus learnt not long ago oni... =(
lalas~ den after tat, rebb cycled me to rp, den i cycled home... =x
cycling... i reli cmi leh... =x
den wed... woke up, n slacked...
den edited class blog... =x its been 1 whole year since i updated it...
actually i did tat mths ago... but do wrong... so changed back lor...
but now... =x not reli veri nice lah...
but i think it should be better?
i hope that this time, ppl will go thr...
i hope that it can be livelier this time =)
ppl, post pic there!! =D

2010-02-25T08:22:00.002+11:00

actually got post de... cos i fell aslp, n when i woke up, its gone ='(

is that a msg for me? sumtyms i wonder...

2010-02-23T04:11:00.002+11:00

24 hours is never enough for me!!!
haiz... worked continuously for 3 days... n there's 3 more days to go...
but ITS KILLING ME!!!!
ok.... lets start blogging fr 21st
woke up late, rushed my make up, go work...
target's 1168, worked wit another 2 full timer...
chatted alil wit th female 1, th male wan... i got nth to talk to him abt...
den at th end of th day... my sales is 1140+
den did closing, which is th most troublesome n confusing... den home...

today... woke up late agn... my alarm didn't ring lah!
then rushed make up, n go work...
was afew mins late... then yup, i got into my labcoat n start work...
sales damm bad man...
th cx n me, all didn't hit target...
n there's few sickening customer lah!
1 came in... look ard... told me wan whitening essence... so i was so happie, n took it for her.
then, she asked for th deodorant. i showed her, n she said she dun wan whitening essence...
then its like... i thought i might earn $100+, but instead $22
she spent lots of time in th shop lor...
hai dao i missed lots of customers...
they came in, n nobody serve them... so they went off =(
n another customer... its a couple...
they came in, i greeted them, they said jus browsing...
so i asked for concerns... lady said th man said his skin hopeless...
saw tat there's uneven texture, i intro micro-dermabrasion .
wth man... he said, it is useless, n dun trust us...
i said, use few days can feel effect, he said is psychological
i asked him to bring brochure home to read, he said he'd rather read online...
waaa... he made me speechless lah... its like... hello? u came into our shop,
but dun trust our products... urrrgh! n oso like try to suan me...
ok, lets change topic, before i #$%^&*(
=x but todae, i oso made a mistake...
cos there's this tourist who came in, tried on out tester...
he said wanna take sample home to try, den can buy fr...
i asked him to fill profile card, n write ic...
but he's a tourist! no ic wad...
den i forgot tat there's th tourist de...
den i insist on him filling smth for me to track down...
tat tourist pekchek, den tear th profile card n walk off... =/
haiz...
but at th end of day... i nvr hit target...
my target is $1053, n i got oni 6 or 7 hundred plus... =(
lalas~ but nvm...

haiz...
these few days... work, home, slp, work, home, slp
=( no life man...
i've got no time to read my magazines oso lor... n sumore i feeel so tired...
not enough time to slp lah
nnn when i browse my fren's fb pics, i so sian mu...
cos i missed going out wit them, cos of my work....
like th d&b b'dae, th dinner at chompchomp, n th band reunion lunch...
all i wanted to go so badly leh... but cos of bloody work, i can't go...
=( i missed everyone... really missed them... but can't c them, cos no off =(
tat tym, when i went off fr th band outing cos of work, i nearly teared at th mrt...
duno its my sis mp3 song, or me...
but i missed everyone... i met them, but can't get to eat tgh... =/
i missed them so much to th extend, that i wanna giv them a tight hug...
but i can't.... cos gals... ltr den dun like... guys... even cannot lah...
ltr dey xiang wai or smth jiu die... =( URGH!!!! I MISSED EVERYONE!!!!
=( can anyone plan another outing? but th tyming decide b4 hand, so i can arrange for off that day pls?
i missed everyone, but i oways ask others to plan...
cos i suck at planning...
all th while, when i plan, i duno y, but oways nobody go de... =(
haiz... so now i dun dare plan le... cos dun wan to waste an off, when ppl isn't going...
haiz... i oso miss her... but i duno if she does anot...
hope that there's still a chance for us to like start fr scratch...

2010-02-21T08:34:00.002+11:00

haven been posting on my blog for ard a week?
lalas~ on wed, went shopping wit rebb n bought quite alot of stuffs...
thurs, 1st day of work... arrived early...
so shopped ard b4 work...
work is soso... met great seniors =) n they helped me to try to hit my target...
but at th end of day, didn't hit...
i short of ard 100... =( but nvm... cos its 1st day...
fri, went wit sis to marina sq thr...
watched percy jackson & th lighting thief, n went to th river hongbao n played th rides at th funfair... =D
wow... haven been playing those trilling rides for ages...
omg u all know what? i love th feeling of being up in th sky...
its so cooling, n i just love it =)
then looking down when i'm going down oso veri shuang...
i duno y, but i love that feeling... know what? i was giggling up thr u noe?
hahas~ i know... i sound as if i am not in th right mind... =/
but oveall, i love that day... cos i get to play th rides once agn... =)
if i get th chance, i wan to go to resorts world sentosa to play its roller coaster =D
then sat... 1st day at ck tangs, n actually band reunion lunch?...
i woke up, rushed my make up, n head to cp
waited n waited... cos everyone's late... =/
th meeting time is 1pm, but majority came after 30mins...
yup, so waited till 2pm, n got to go alr cos my work starts at 3, n its at orchard...
=( sad lah... i waited for so long to hav an outing wit frens,
but cos of work, i can't go... T_T
if it isn't cos that this few weeks work is like training me to be independent,
so that i can survive when there isn't any full timers...
haiz... today target super high leh... $1286
at th end of th day, i oni manage to sell $618...
die lah... less than half u noe?
nnn there's smth amusing....
cos i hav to wear a lab coat to work, as kiehl's used to be a pharmacy...
then there's this china customer, he saw mr bones, n then saw me...
he came up to me asked if i'm a doc... then i got to keep telling him i'm not.
hahas~ its like... me being a doc? when i suck at chem...
yup, actually i feel that i dun suit this job, cos i hate chem...
n my job requires me to learn th ingredients, n benefits of it... =x
but i oways 'cheat' lah... cos i too cmi alr... i can't do as well as my seniors...
n they keep saying i'm soft... i alr try to speak loud alr leh... but ppl keep saying i'm soft =(
lalas~ yup, so th whole day at tangs no customer de...
haiz... imagine ah... my 1st customer bought $238 de products...
but in th end, oni manage to sell $618 =(
i thought can hit de... but in th end, shi wang... =(
lalas~ then at 11pm, we did th closing n left...
th closing... i still can't rmb th thing.. its too complicated alr leh...
so many steps... n not learnt during training... =/ i reli can't absorb lor...
haiz... butbutbtu i hope that i can memorise it soon...
cos i dun wan th full timers to worry when there are at bintan for their camp or smth?

=/ i'm sorry, i gotta leave jus now...
not tat i don't wanna go... in fact, i'd love to go wit u all...
i reli miss those times when everyone's tgh chatting, eating n stuffs...
but cos i am new to work... i can't jus don't go...
i'm really sorry...
i can feel that u are somewhat unhappy...
i am also sad... i feel sucky that i got to choose between 2...
i've got no choice but to leave today...
if it isn't cos that i've got work, i'd definitely go wit u all
i wan to catch up wit everyone...
n oso start to mend our f/s fr scratch...
how i wish i can dun work, n just go outing... i reli wish to c everyone...
seriously, i can say that f/s is almost my everything...
in my heart, its higher than family...
=/ still feeling sucky now... n jus teared alil... =/
it sucks lah! i miss everyone... i met them alr k, but i can't go wit them...
it sucks to th core lor... ='( i duno how to describe how i'm feeling now...
what i can say is that i am tearing now...
can't cry, cos i gotta make up tmrw, n eye can't be swollen...
haiz... i reli miss everyone... =( how i wish everyone can feel n understand what i am feeling...
no words can describe it...~

2nd day, cny

2010-02-16T09:32:00.003+11:00

arhermm... talking abt th 2nd day of cny
went to dad's side de family
went to ahgong's side...
den almost immediately, ahgong n ahma spammed us info abt my dad
info tat is connected to th past n stuffs...
yup, its a one year once thing... but this year, they told me more...
abt stuffs tat i didn't know
th reason y dad don't come back...
yup, tried to remain composed...
but they are like rubbing salt to my wound...
so, though i tried my best to ren, at th side of my eye thr's alil tears...
k, i admit... those stuffs tat they told me, i am supposed to know.
but in th past, they tell me bits n pieces oni...
n ya, now when i almost forget abt it, or don't harp on that,
they brought this up...
ppl always tell me... try to forget...
but how? when i am abt to forget, this topic is brought up agn
though i act tat it doesn't affects me, but it actually does...
i just dun wan them to c me cry
haiz... so u all understand y i wanna learn how to be heartless?
if i am heartless, i no nd to act as if i dun care
cos i dun feel anything
but i do... n i reli hate myself for being so useless...
n A said tat i am being quite emotional, as i can actually just ignore it...
but i can't... its affecting me... i duno how, being emotional or not, i can't control...
i just can't do anything abt it, but let my mind be occupied wit smth else, to temperory forget abt it...
kk, enough of th emoing...
then, after ahgong's hse, we went to agnes's hse...
ahma n others were gambling... then i chatted alil wit agnes...
then went to ken's hse...
they gambled agn... then yup, i sat n watched...
lalas~ then duno y, ken disturb me agn... lalas~
nvm lah... its oso a one year once thingy... hahas~
then went out to chat wit agnes...
then went back, chatted alil, den go home...
waaa... wad an embarrassment my sis mixed up my cousin's names
ken, shin, you n shou...
... joke right? me n my bro had to constantly tell her who is who...
nnn she still asked you n shou which is their name!!!
wth man... i feel like burying my face somewhere...
can't stop laughing lah...
she oni rmb which is ken bah, i think?
joke...
but when you sent us to th bus stop, i talked to him alil...
k, he's 2 years older, n in ns alr...
hahas~ =x i didn't know that...
n he got his driving license last year...
hehehes~ i v.tempted to learn leh... =D
lalas~ then after we drop off th car, waited for bus, den go home =)

cny cum v'dae

2010-02-15T06:25:00.002+11:00

1st dae of cny... went to hazel's side to bai nian
th bainian thing, ok lah...
i went thr last year oso mah...
this year better, cos they rmb me alr...
unlike last year, dey keep asking who am i =/
n this year they got alil joke wit me lor...
example, aunty irene's son commented abt my heels...
he said, 'rence so tall liao still wear so high...'
wow... hahas~ i listen to this comment, felt happie... cos it shows tat i looked tall...=D
but then ahma disturb me... she said 'aiya, cos she wan to look tall n slim like a model'
lalas~ partially true... =x but i am like alil surprised aunty irene's son will comment on my heels...
cos i dun rmb talking to him b4 leh...
maybe got, but should be abt 10 years ago?
lalas~
then miss lee/shupei talked abt how i looked when i'm young...
she said i am 'siao zhar bo' =(
haiz... cos i am super hyper in th past, n kept fighting wit th guys =x
hahas~
but then ltr she asked her cousin if he rmb me, he said yes, n call me 'siao zhar bo' agn...
omgomgomg.... so ps lah... den shupei laughed... =s
lalas~
butbutbut... th 1st dae of cny, i alr started to scold ppl alr...
my idiotic sis, who wore my socks WITHOUT ASKING OR TELLING ME
then i ask her pass it to me, cos i've got blisters on my leg, SHE GAVE ME 'JIAO BIN'
=x its like... wth man...
my socks, u use witout asking me, still giv me tat face when ur wrong!!
if it isn't cos tat i need to compose myself,
i'll slap her, n catfight wit her alr k...
she so asshole lah! she a truly Bitch lor...
yup, n that conflict lasted until now, n spoilt my mood...
wadeva... i'll throw those socks she wore after 2nd day of cny, n buy new 1...
then she'll hav no excuse to sae i allow her to use them...
cos she insisted tat i allow her to use anytime... but she left out th part when i asked her to tell me whenever she use them.
bitch lah! i dun understand y my maid like to mix our stuffs tgh
asshole lor... my sis loves to grab other's stuffs witout permission de
bloody asshole!!!
ok, if she does that to me agn, i'll not tolerate alr...
i'll fight it out wit her... since its not th 1st time
she knew i hate ppl touching my stuffs. but she still do tat...
wadeva lah! dun sae i nvr warn her...
i wrote it on my blog, FOR HER TO READ!!
ya, i scolded u her!! bloody bitch...
NEXT TIME USE ONLY YOUR OWN STUFFS!!!
N FIND OUT IF WAD U USED IS STUFFS I BUY MY OWN OR MUMMY BUY!!!
f-face...

ok lets change topic, dun talk abt th bitch alr...
yup, 1st dae of cny is also v'dae...
for me, v'dae is nth lah...
cos i am single... =) so, such days is nth to me
but interesting... my friend thought tat i'll receive chocolates or stuffs...
hahas~ but no lah... i dun hav any admirer or wad lah...
so no chocolates or gifts... =)
but i were to choose, i wouldn't want them oso...
cos, i dun wan to find a bf
so, if th person giv me, i won't giv them anything too...
then, it makes me feel tat i owe them smth...
cos i receive, but nvr giv... =x
yup, so will feel bad lor...
but last year de... quite interesting lah...
a surprise tat dun make me feel surprised...
=x cos i veri imaginative de... so, nth can make me feel surprised...
so, i feel tat ppl no nd to giv me surprises de...

i miss th training alr...

2010-02-12T09:17:00.004+11:00

training ended... yup, training is tiring n boring for me,
cos i oways slp for 1-2 hrs den wake up, make up n go office thr alr
th 1st dae is ok lah... i was late for 50 mins =x
wasn't reli that tired. at least i didn't go to th state that i will get distracted or 'daydream'
but th few of us wasn't that close yet...
i oni talked to th gals beside me, n ans th guys when dey ask questions or smth
2nd day... about to go to th daydream state...
plus thr's alot of info to memorise... n sumore, its CHEM RELATED!!
gosh man... i prefer th 1st day, when i rmb th history, aims n smth like tat
but i got closer to th rest alr...
=/ but i got laughed by a guy for spending ALOT of effort holding th door...
blame th door for being too heavy lah... grrrrrrr
then 3rd day, todae/ytd
was th latest person, usual... but wasn't that late... its jus late by abt 2 mins?
got there, talk abt th products we used, like day 2
then quiz time... urgh! th feeling sucks!!
cos we had to write what product suits what type of skin...
BUT!!!! i duno how to spell th products!!! T_T
example, i know th anti-aging product, which 1 suit them...
BUT... duno how to spell
den instead, i use th acai products, cos it also prevents aging...
but then, by th times up... then, i oni wrote th basic regime, n th word 'acai'
n when i passed to th guy who laughed at me th day b4,
he kept laughing at me leh... so ps lah
cos my memory not good... can't rmb th spelling yet...
but he damm pro lor...
think he keep go home, memorise th ingredients n uses of a product...
jus now th test, think he almost scored full marks?
soooo sian mu...
yup, but he quite clever de lah...
imagine... a guy who doesn't need to take o's, n proceed to take a's
then he wanna be a dentist or smth?
lalas~ i noe i can't compare to him lah...
but i got a feeling that he finds me alil 'stupid' or smth...
blur kind of stupid bah... cos he keep laughing at me...
lalas~ but i dun mind bah...
since all th while, thats how i made frens, n be closer to them...
weird right? hahas~ thats me?
th rest... =) ok lah...
we oways chatchat n chat... =x
lalas~ almost all gals mah...
lalas~ yup, but at th end of training, we took one another's numbers...
haiz... but a pity that we're all in a rush, cos ot all th way till 8.30...
so we all can't take a photo tgh...
but nvm, i've added all of them on fb alr... maybe 1 day, we meet out or smth?
hahas~ or eat lunch tgh, cos majority of th shops at orchard area...
closest is th ck tang n ion =)
but i duno if they want anot... cos like not that close...
haiz... though th training tired n boring, i miss th training...
i wanna get closer to them!! cos i know, if i know them more, it'll be fun!! =D
lalas~

i duno y... am i thinking too much?
i got a feeling that someone is like 'helping' me without me knowing...
its like... i don't expect those... i am alr getting over it...
n of course, i dun wan to rmb abt it, n i dun mind if situation doesn't change...
i am forgetful... so i dun feel anything, if smth occupies my mind
but y? when i am numb to it, sum1 will remind me of it...
n it triggers my tears agn... i am trying to suppress my tears u noe...
i duno y i tear often... self-pity? maybe
but y? i almost forget. almost...
i feel normal abt tat k... =/
now i don't... though they helped me...
i don't know, but i really wish that everyone can like allow me to solve my probs...
i reli need to feel that i am independent... i don't wan to rely on th person,
helping me without me knowing...
i want n need to be independent... i knew this fr young...
but y after sec 1, i changed
n now, i really hope that i can change back... to how i was

2010-02-10T03:59:00.002+11:00

i know its late right now...
but cos i nvr blog for abt 1 week le
so i think its best to update now =)
i got to quickly update, then go shower...
cos tmrw got training
lalas~
so talk abt last week...
last fri is my LaSalle interview day.
overslept, waited 15 mins for th cab, late for 20 mins
luckily thr's a grp for late comers
so i'm in tat grp.
when i layout my works, my grp members thought i had a1 for art...
felt damm happie, but at th same time sad.
cos ppl complimenting my skills...
but it reminds me of my o's, getting a c6
when i told them no, i got a c6,
they speechless, n said th markers blind...
tat comment made me speechless too
cos... i duno... i dun dare make such statement lah
cos they will hav a reason behind every decision made
jus that i duno wads th reason
then we all chatted to break th ice, as we waited for th teachers to come
so we alr made frens wit each other...
during th interview... ok lah =) its more like chatting wit new friends
th 2 mins thingy... ok lah
i am not veri nervous, n i spent more than 2 mins
i think th teachers can tell that i took art for o's
its kinda obvious lah
then yup, answered questions and all
then th convo...
ok lah... we all always got nth to sae, den some1 tried to break th ice, but linking to smth else
then teachers noe we speechless le
den change topic...
ok lah... we crap alot, den laugh tgh lor... =D
then at th end of interview, we asked abt th sch
i found out, th classroom no wall de
meaning got to concentrate hard, not to let my mind wander...
then hw... ALOT
cos... my portfolio works = 10++ boards is equals to 3 weeks project leh
meaning, i got to chiong art daily...
and i can't find a job, cos i can't commit to it...
maybe when sch starts, i'll not quit yet
i'll c if i can't cope, then i resign
lalas~ after th questions, we waited 5 mins for th results...
then yup, i got admitted to LaSalle =)
then those who passed, we exchanged numbers, n ate tgh... =)
yup, made new friends so fast... =D i hope that we all can get into th same foundation class...
lalas~ then went to bugis, find miao, waited for my sis, n shopped
sat went gym wit al n jn
then sun went shopping wit sis
monday... woke up early for training, then to find out that its postpone...
then shopped ard orchard till agnes's lesson over...
then we went to shop at far east...
actually... i dun intend to shop... cos its more of chatting =)
veri long nvr chat alr mah... got to catch up wit each other...
then tues,
went training, but late for 55 mins...
training ok lah... trainer quite fun n cute... she's a pregnant women that is quite hyper =)
then yup, though atmosphere alil cold, i made afew frens,
leant history of company, how to access skin, intro products, n yup, understand th company's aims...
=) duno is they physco me or wad... i feel tat its a gd brand alr... =x
th packaging not nice, look like a medicine or smth... cos it used to be a pharmacy
but th money spent on th ingredients... so its worth it lah...
n among us, there's a guy who used th products...
so he is like constantly praising th product... =/ hmm...
i am reli tempted to change products leh...
butbutbut... its a luxury cosmetic brand...
although its a cheapest, but if i buy th whole range or products, i will hav to spend over hundreds...
so... =) u all know, i won't buy th products lah
but b4 we go, we took some testers to try out, so that we can promote only if we used it...
so, i brought home th normal-dry cleanser, cucumber toner n facial cream
hair, i got olive hair condi, n shampoo
lalas~ interested to find out... hope that i won't get like so addicted to this brand...
=/ th trainer oso asked us to take some samples home 1 day,
so we could try out th product... n yup, it sounds like its veri effective... =x haiz...
i reli dun wan to get addicted sia...
butbutbut... wad if i use th samples, n love th brand?
lalas~ but i am also quite interested in using th samples too
i wanna try out how effective is it... but i believe, i can c th results like quite soon...
=/ i duno lah... but i'll be working thr for a couple of mths...
so... think i can earn enough, so when i am tempted, i can jus buy it on spot, not worrying that i got not enough cash...

2010-02-04T10:22:00.002+11:00

ok, ytd went to nafa for th admission test...
forgetful me, i forgot that i bought a ruler alr...
so i didn't bring my ruler.
was almost late... luckily i came on time,
sat for th paper...
part 1 design... designed a simple dress for a person to wear at a seaside resort.
part 2 sewing... th stitches were hard, but buttons are veri standard...
part 3 writing... choose to write abt after graduation, wad are my aims,
and how do i contribute to th industry.
haiz...
drawing... i can't draw nicely, cos panicked...
sewing... stitches weren't done nicely cos i am rushing...
writing... i dun even noe wad i'm writing... think its irrelevant to th question =x
after th test, went to find miao...
spent 4 hrs thr, ate lots of durian...
haiz... nafa test down... next is lasalle interview...
=/ maybe friday, i'll go find miao agn bah... since th interview ends early...
think it'll start at 10, end at 11+ =/
ppl, wish me good luck!!! =x

chalet over

2010-02-02T09:12:00.002+11:00

left th chalet 24hrs go =)
overall, its alright... its th 1st chalet that i stayed for all days...
1st day, i met up wit jon n jn on th bus, n went to check in tgh
went to 7-11 thru skates, but i fell on my butt,
causing my upper thigh n my palm to be hurt...
my palm is alright, but my upper thigh...
got pus wit alil blood, sumore my jeans material shorts keep rubbing my wound
then black out right outside 7-11
then after i bought stuffs, i went to take bus, as i got no energy to skate back
cos no breakfast n lunch
then back at chalet, took wet tissue to clean th wound...
PAIN MAN!!! gotta ren lor... wanted to cry, cos i feel sucky...
but didn't in th end...
then after slacking ard for awhile, jon n jn suggested to rent bike to ride to eat
so went to eat dinner, n draw cash
then rode ard, to buy stuffs...
then back, played cards till pam, ac n jen came
then played ard, and slept...
day 2, woke up, walked to bus stop, go whitesands...
ate macs, bought my plaster, bought some food, and then go back...
back, they all watched movie while i slept...
then woke up, skated or followed jon to ehub, buy another plaster,
ride ard pasir ris park, and then cooked spaghetti for dinner...
then slacked, play majong till shaun, xt n joann came...
then showered, n ate some noodles...
we slacked ard th whole nite till 6+am, n then sleep...
day 3, rebb n al woke me up when they came, but i went back to slp
then finally woke up, when xt tried to take a photo of my, sleeping...
luckily i felt smth, n opened my eyes...
then went down to find th guys here, and we chatted for awhile...
then went to buy lunch n plasters...
went back, ate, and th guys decided to start th fire...
then 1 by 1, th rest came...
even mr lim n mr yeo came... =)
lalas~ then after that, 1 by 1 showered, then play blind mice together...
hahas~ thats fun =D
then played majong agn... =x tat day nvr win at all...
then after that chatted...
all of us felt th same way abt that topic...
n some agitated... =x
its weird k... 1st time, th whole chalet feel th same way...
nvm... lalas~
then after tat, went to walk wit jon n jn...
chatted, n then go back, pack up, waited for 1st bus, n went home
reached home at 7am,
slept for 2 hrs, showered, go for my interview...
its confirmed that i'll be going training at ard 8th to 10th...
then i walked ard orchard awhile... bought some nail polish,eyeliner n mascara...
then went home, slp till evening, go find sq, get my laptop, ate, shopped, then go home...
=) so slacked till now, n i think i'm gonna slp after i save my nlevels pic,
so that i can print for my interview this fri...
lalas so nth much to blog abt... i'm going to slp soon.... good 'nites' =)

2010-01-30T05:45:00.002+11:00

=/ in chalet now... I WAN TO COMPLAIN!!!!
=( cos i fell down fr th slope ='(
skating leh... =/ y oways fall fr slope, damm cham de?

2010-01-24T09:55:00.002+11:00

now, my true feelings is like my blogskin...
haiz... i really wan to be like tang wants me to be...
which is heartless, mean & evil...
maybe i should not sae i am not like that when he called me that...
those are cool... and relieve me of my troubles...
at least i can giv attitude anytime to anybody,
and not feel sorry or guilty...
and i won't be hurt at all... these are th benefits k...
maybe jus switch th meaning of those words,
i can find relief...
i am sick of dealing sensitive stuffs...
i am sick of everything...
i hate everything that is on earth!!! hate everyone! hate all problems!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-01-23T09:53:00.002+11:00

ridiculous... i've been saying how guys are sucky even before they know me....
and have been writing that as my pm since then...
but y they took notice of it this time?
n somemore, i meant generally...
all th while i feel so wad... so y so agitated? joke man...
not as if its th 1st time or wad...

lalas~ talking abt some other stuffs...
i went to buy my portfolio case alr =D
$54... =x nvm... cos it will be useful for me... =)
also went forever 21 to buy clothes...
and went sasa to buy fake lashes n glue... =x
goshgosh!! i feel tempted to buy more!! =x
i still wan to buy nail polish, eyeliner n mascara from th faceshop =x
omgomg!! think i'm crazy alr...
buybuybuy... I STILL WANNA BUY ROLLER BLADE!!! =x
haiz... howhowhow?
should i? should i? should i???
haiz.... =x=x=x=x=x=x veri tempting leh...
but i've gt many other things to buy... =x
but i forgot wad i wan to buy oso... =x nd to list all of them down...

09 artworks

2010-01-20T08:00:00.006+11:00

mr chia just sent me my olevels artworks, that caused me to have a c6 for my art...

so, just post it here lor... since th prev time, i nvr my coursework i think...

2010-01-19T08:25:00.002+11:00

hi, i'm blogging here now, cos i've gt nobody to complain to...
=/ hav been wasting my precious time these few days,
cos my boss, nvr cmf wad day i need to work...
thats so sucky lah
it means i've got to stay at home n wait for her call off sms?!
ridiculous!! meaning i can't even go out... and i still can't work, meaning no income
thats so... sucky lah...
know when i called her, she said what?
she said that she need to c if i can promote products to customers 1st...
and said that that tym i work, i seem shy...
its like WTH!! ppl need to learn to be familar wit th surroundings 1st right?!
and i worked for 4 hrs oni leh...
dots lah!
and she said that my working days depends on that...
its so... F
so she not short of workers what...
so what is th use of constantly hiring?
so i am like th worker reserved,
if ppl not free to work, i am there as back up?!
wth...
tat makes me feel worthless lor...
it makes me feel sucky leh...
i rejected an interview for resorts world sentosa retail asst, for th far east job...
and that time when i passed fox in taka,
my ex-manager asked me to work for wingtai...
its not as if nobody wants to hire me lor...
th job oso not gd lor...
salary is average, but i had to do alot...
i need to put on make up, wear heels AND!!!! wear their dresses...
th dress oso nvr wash leh... imagine?! its so unhygienic!!!
ARRRGH!!!!
nvm... i've decided... i think i wanna quit as soon as i secure another job...
since its useless staying at far east...

th interviews...

2010-01-18T05:15:00.002+11:00

th interview days are out ytd, when i apply at th open hse...

Interview days:
NAFA- 3/2/10, 9.30am
La Salle- 5/2/10, 10am

but those interview n tests are giving me headache...
cos of th content... let me show u...

NAFA:

test venue-
campus 1,wing b, lvl 2
seminar room

test instruction for fashion design admission test-
part 1. design (1hr - 30%)
part 2. technical ability (1 hr - 30%) notes: sewing kit will be provided
part 3. writing ability ( 1hr - 30%)

materials required-
~ colour pencils
~ pencil
~ ruler
~ ballpoint pens
~ scissors

La Salle:

materials required-
~ portfolio

preparing portfolio-
~ portfolio should be a2(max), a4(min) and preferably wit a zipped cover
~ at least 10 pieces of work presented
~ work include a range of techniques, eg.drawings, sketches, 2d work or 3d work
~ originals of wor preferred, however photographs, digital images & JPEG are acceptable
~ works & images should be accompanied wit captions, and presented in a folio or folder

portfolio judged by-
~ creative development in th artwork
~ observational skills
~ experimentation in medium & material exploration
~ overall clarity in portfolio presentation

discussion topic-
~ what does it mean to be creative?
~ talk about best piece of artwork for 2 mins

so u do u all understand y i am having a headache about th interview?
for NAFA interview, i dun understand how they are going to test me...
exp th design n technical ability... provided sewing kit?!
means i need to sew? gosh!! i duno how to sew!!
haiz.... i duno how am i gonna survive th interview...

La Salle interview, i need to find time to go back to sch to take my olevels work...
sumore, i am scared of talking to strangers...
let alone presenting my work to them...
what if i stammer, lost of words or talk too softly while presenting my work?!
=( then i will die on spot... =(
i have no confidence at all!!

=( i think i need to find a day, to go back to school, and ask teachers...
how & what should i prepare for th interview??? =(

2010-01-16T08:43:00.002+11:00

feeling lonely... y? cos th thought of her...
she's been my b-f since 5+ years ago...
i've nvr trusted anybody with so much of my secrets b4...
i used to chat wit her for hours during hols n wkend
but... though i haven been doing tat wit her for bout 1 yr,
up till now, i still feel lonely or odd...
as if smth is missing...
yup, thr's smth missing... but i dare not admit till now...
=/ sometimes, when i think about th past of it,
tend to tear... yyy?! i hate myself being like that??
where's th STRONG N HEARTLESS RENCE?!!
th rence that doesn't trust anyone in th past...
at least at that time, i dun feel that miserable...
i really regret trusting everybody who told me i can trust them....
i hate myself for doing so, and also rely on them...
i knew that relying on ppl, will definately cause me to get hurt...
i know th type of person i am...
when i trust ppl totally, i'll rely on them...
nnn i'll be veri possessive...
i hate doing so, but i know myself well...
i tried not to allow myself to trust anyone or rely on them...
but i can't...
haiz... i feel so useless...
n i can't find a person that would find a time to hear me sae those craps...
i know, i am feeling damm sucky right now...
but it is my fault... i can't blame anyone...
it is reality... but i really hope that it is jus a nightmare,
that i can wake to realise... those unpleasant stuff...
this whole week is a total shit
nth goes well for me...
results suck too
but i showed no reaction when i took my results,
cause i duno how to react...
there's no use crying if it happened already...
but yup, i am disappointed.... that's not surprising at all...
haiz... =x
i feel that i really need to be th rence years ago...
but i changed...
i duno how to control my emotions agn... i really want to th stone girl in the past...
th gal, wit heart made of stone...
won't soften, won't break... no matter what happens,
it won't change...
i just wan to be that!
i duno... i jus feel so... sucky right now...

sorry if u will hate me for posting those...
maybe u will dislike me for posting our personal probs here...
but i can't help it...
i still can't accept it... but i can't do anything at that time...
u already said so clearly... i can't force u to do anything...
n i know, if i force u, situation will become worst...
i dislike situations being awkward...
but i think to avoid those will be hard...
cos when i think about it, i will feel so... hurt...
n i still have th urge to go ur blog everyday to find out your life witout me...
i still can't accept... cos i nvr knew that this is th way u think of me...
th word... is too harsh... and i duno wad made u feel so...
i want to know, but since u r unwilling to tell me, nvm...
i really dun wish to reveal anything here...
but maybe i can oni do that when i am not affected by it anymore...

th thing i feared th most... happened

2010-01-13T05:23:00.003+11:00

i've been avoiding it for mths, close to 1 year...
i finally approached it...
and like what i fear, th worst scenario happened...
its like a blow to me... an answer that i fear...
that was the answer i cried for months to get
an answer tat got me disappointed,
at the point that i feel like bursting into tears...
i controlled it, cause i'm wearing contacts...
cherished it, but didn't show them out...
it takes me alot of courage to bring th topic up...
i duno... i am feeling lost...
perhaps... i should not bring th topic up...
but i can't tolerate acting blur about it anymore
or its my fault that i drag till now then bring it up...
i sensed smth wrong since 08...
but i tried to break th ice... n act blur...
until to th point when i am super afraid of losing... then i bring it up
its a point of no return...
i duno.... i still can't accept it...
but its smth that i can't control...
''it takes 2 hands to clap'' yup, things can't depend on me alone...
i am jus disappointed... n sad
5 years... it all ended like that...
i hope that things won't turn more awkward...
at this stage, i jus hope that ------- will treat me like a normal friend would....
if ------- read this, i still want to know th reason y...
i dun mind another blow... but i dun want everything to end, when i duno wad i did wrong
pain is nothing to me already...
i dun mind another blow, but i jus don't wan to be kept in the dark

release of olevels

2010-01-12T07:54:00.002+11:00

=/ after a whole day of slacking, i am going to post about my results...
i've gt 27 for overall...
eng-c6
amaths-c6
mt-c6
sci-c6
art-c6
emaths-b3
humanities-d7
yup, met requirements for lasalle...
but =( i am not satisfied wit th results...
i duno...
when i got th result, its shocking...
i didn't expect myself to do so badly...
i feel that my emaths, sci n ART did BADLY
=/ like what ppl sae, i should accept th fact, since i didn't do well in art this year
but... i still can't accept my score...
cause... i can't believe...
my art... is it really a c6 standard?
c6!! no joke. i've got c6 for art...
i can't accept that fact lah
i reli wish that its just a nightmare, when i can wake up to find out that my art is better
BUT!!! right now i got to accept fact, and plan for th schools i wan to go
ok, i passed 6 subjects
but wit a c6 in art, can i go lasalle or nafa?
i duno...
but there's a huge problem here leh
th jae ends at 15, which is th open hse of nafa n lasalle...
then ppl all ask me to apply for all...
butbutbut...
i realised that th end on th application date of nafa n lasalle is on march...
means if a poly wants me, i still duno if i should take up th place, or reject...
cos i wan to go to lasalle instead of poly...
haiz... =/
so now u ppl know what's on my mind alr?
when i got my results till now, my mind all blank de...
no emotions... its weird leh... cos i done badly...
but i duno y, though disappointed, but i've gt no tears or wadsoeva...
maybe cos i knew that its my fault... it serves me right or what...
butbutbut... =/
i duno... i am more of worried than sad...
and i am also bu fu qi... cause my points... not what i want...

Monday is th day...

2010-01-09T07:39:00.002+11:00

Yup, think everybody know alr...
monday is th day olevels results are released...
haiz... though i am not nervous,
but i am worried... =x
cause i nvr finish almost all my papers...
though i planned for th worst,
i really don't wish for th worst to happen...
cause i'll be wasting my time...
what i want is to be able to get into la salle,
and grad, then design my own clothes,
then work my way to my own brand?
yup, own brand... unlike my parents...
n ya, i alr plan that far already...
and i am trying to work my way to that goal...
haiz... planning all th way there hav a disadvantage...
which is that i can't accept th reality if i don't succeed...
=/ which is why some ppl told me,
我拿得起，放不下。
ya, i agree... i can't accept failures,
and tend to live in th past, when i am working toward my goal
but i know deep in my heart, that my goal is not possible to succeed...
yupyup, going emo soon...
lets end this topic =)
haix.... but elton n brenda keep reminding me about olevels...
i can't help worrying leh...
haiz... elton oways make me feel nervous de...
oways sae he going to fail, but score better than me...
i oso duno y he oways so nervous lor... psle, nlevel n olevel oso th same
actually i nt scared de... but cos of elton...
i got sooooo nervous right b4 th release of results... =x
lalalas~

btw, this few dae spending my day doing nth much...
stay at home, shop, n be a couch potato...
i know i need a job... =x but everybody is too bz.
and i am alil afraid to find a job alone... =x
yup, salary came ytd....
then todae spent $100++
cos i signed up yoga wit al, bought passion card, bought yoga mat...
and i bought a b'dae present for my ex-colleague a jewellery making kit. =)
yupyup, i think i oso spend too fast le... nnn i still no job... =x
but i duno leh... can any ppl introduce me to a job??
i prefer fashion retail... =x , n think i not suitable to for for F&B
cause if i want, i rather help out my family...
butbutut.... i want fashion retail leh... =/ who can intro?!

2010-01-06T02:44:00.002+11:00

prev post is post pic... so now post about today...
todae gt a call when i was slping... telling me tmrw gt job interview...
hope th interview tmrw won't disappoint me... =x
lalas~ anyway, i got 2 interviews lah... =x
cos i was spamming company's email...
so... gt 2 interviews lor...
yup, so after that went back to sleep...
then woke up by marvin's sms... then rush out...
reached sch, help out at th cca fiesta...
chatted wit alumnis....
then pack up, go cp eat
then back home...
saw rebb's blog jus now...
yup, she is veri angry... n i can understand her feeling...
cos i experienced this b4... though its not me who organised it,
but i also feel that th guys are unreasonable...
dey oways expect th gals to plan everything...
n if its not fun, or not working well,
wad dey do is jus complain....
BUTBUTBUT... hav they ever thought that th gals do not need to do this?
this isn't our job leh... we ain't paid for planning stuffs...
n wad we wan to do is to confirm everything fast,
n then get back to wad we are bz wit...
but th guys, oways drag th planning by not being cooperative...
then we are oways stuck... wth man... can't they think?!
everybody is bz, but some gals took th time out of their bz schedule to plan...
instead of being grateful, they drag th whole process... tats being so unreasonable!!!

ok... i know tat i am being alil emotional...
but cos i know tat th feeling sucks... nnn that rebb is th oni 1 experiencing it...
so... yup =)
if worst come to worst, i would rather pay for th whole chalet,
and not beg those annoying guys...
cos if they want to drag, then it means they are not interested...
if they are not interested, wads th use of making them come?
they should just stay at home, rot, or work they th hell of themselves...

=x yupyup, expressed wad i want to sae alr... =)
haiz... my hp gt alot of pics!!!!
but lazy to upload to com, n post to blog leh...
haiz....
think i wanna organise all th stuffs on my com, n at home...
but i am jus being too lazy...
haiz... =x
btw, PPL HELP ME PRAY THAT MY INTERVIEW TMRW GOES SMOOTHLY

Roller blading wit sis on 15 nov

2010-01-06T01:58:00.005+11:00

okok, since pam asked for pics, i post th photos taken at east coast...
wanted to post it a long time ago... but cos dun hav all th pics...
so waited till now...
butbutbut th pics of building are taken cos it used to be our home...
bayshore or smth?? =x
yup, tat tym rollerblade n think about th past wit sis...
realised that th past is much more enjoyable...
at least at that time, we dun hav so much troubles...
we won't try to avoid topics, being afraid that others will be affected...
won't try to lie to ourselves, and won't try to think about other stuffs,
when we think about th past...
so, going to roller blade is enjoyable exp wit sis...

yupyup, n we camwhored... =) hence so much pics...

happy new year

2010-01-02T01:32:00.002+11:00

HAPPIE NEW YEAR!!!
=x lalas~ actually wanted to blog ytd de...
but cos i drag n drag, i post this post on the 2nd...
yup, wanted to blog about the last few daes of 2009...

so... start from the 2nd last day of work...
lalas~ the whole day was bullying sikuan cos its his last day, n slacking...
then bought lollipop for everyone during my break...
nnn while eating, siying n melvin came to find me...
dey stood quietly at the side, staring at me...
=x when i found out, damm ps lah...
nnn think dey still misunderstood sikuan n me... =(
lalas~ den crapped, n waited for th day to end...
after close shop, we all went to th sookee christmas tree there,
and took photos... then met up with sy n mel and bused home...

last day... slacked, hoping that the time would pass quickly...
then at nite, prepare to pack up...
but i left 1st cause i need to meet up wit cam, jh n alast...
we went to watch th old dogs...
a comedy... the ending made me laugh like hell...
overall, the movie quite nice...
then after that, we took cab home...

28, went to cp, met up wit jh, n bought wrapper for gift...
saw rebb n ml in popular...
then part, cause i am late...
wrapped my gift, n head to sch...
at sch, jh, marvin n ryan was asked to go out, cause hair too long...
oni i am allowed in... =x
then, i went in, played wit bandies, changed gifts and also giv out gifts...
then went to cp, ate, then went to marvin's hse for bbq...
at there, i chatted n played card games...
then tried vodka wit coke... =x
then walked home wit bandies...

29, woke up at 4+, prepared to leave hse, met cam on bus stop
then sat 43, met marvin in th bus, then chatted while on the way there
was late... then we walked to th restaurant, waiting for others...
then went to th restaurant, ate, chatted...
lalas~ i jus realised... marvin can't sit still...
then finished, went off...
tang sent jess, pau n ryan home...
then i bused wit jh, cam n marvin...
dey suggested to take bus 76?? butbutbut that caused me to get lost in amk...
but i found my way to the right bus stop, and sat 86...
slept all the way to cp, then walked home...
that is the 1st time i took 2 hrs to go home from parkway...

then 30, i slept till late in th afternoon...

31, woke up, prepared, go buangkok to buy bbq stuffs...
then back home, wore my contacts,
then go rivervale mall...
bought giffts... then saw pau, jess, bryan n anna...
then while shopping, saw meien too!
=x yup, it took me a long time to realise its them..
then walk walk ard, pei pau n th rest till its time for them to go cp...
then i bused home... slacked, wrap gift n stuffs....
then at 9pm, went to sq's hse...
was 1st...
then waited for th rest, then start fire...
then after hrs, gt drizzle, then brought th pit to another place...
then we bbqed, till 12+
then xchange gifts...
jess got mine, i got qz's
then we took pics....
then at ard 1+, we packed up,
n went off at 2+...
n rebb n jess sent me home ... =)

then on th 1st, slept till 5+...
then slacked th whole day...

2009-12-24T07:44:00.004+11:00

since i am waiting for my hair to dry, i'll blog here...
alrights... i worked till 21, like hell!
cos roucheng went bk to m'sia
then rosemary came everyday...
what i dread during work, is her naggings =x
then 22nd wake up, go rush to amk
cos meeting jess, marvin n pau... but was about 15mins late...
then ate, went to get jess n pau's bag, then go sch
i wished for contact lens, barbie doll n thumb drive...
lalas~ it took me a long time to think of it k...
cos those, i intend to buy those myself...
butbutbut... since gt gift xchange, i named them all out...
then went to cp, ate, chat...

23 went to work... i applied fake lashes to work
den some can't reconise me... =x
las~ then th whole dae damm sian... waiting for th time to pass...
then there is another guy fr sony, he came up to ask for my number...
dots? then i said no...
he came up agn... gave me his name card n go off...
then he came, n asked for my number agn... so instead, i gave email...
but its pretty annoying,
as his whole grp of friends stood outside my store staring at me...
then i after th time reach, i went off...

then 24... woke up super late...
woke up at 1+,
late for 1 hr 30mins...
then worked... was supersuper cold!!!
oso duno y... th gal fr toyee say tat maybe cos its christmas eve...
so create th snowing feel...
lalas~ wadeva... =x
den den went to eat, n worked at th inside...
played n get high awhile, n went out agn...
wow... i heard th song fr th sony shop...
its ur beautiful...
omg... tat song...
i rmb of band, when i had to reach real high notes to play right...
i miss band...~
lalas
den slacked, close shop, then get high after closing...

i think th guys damm weird...
i hate guys tat ask or giv number lor...
but i met 3...
1st 1 gave me his number, but lie to me tat its his fren's
butbutbut... his nametag wrote his name alr...
so i found out tat he lied to me lur...
then 2nd...
went arcade to change money...
th guy, made me wait like hell,
then ask me where i work, wads my age...
den ask me to write my number n name, cos nd it to change money...
but HEY! i am not stupid k?
i know tat no nd to giv number de lah!
den no choice, gt to fu yan him...
so i hurry giv, den go...
3rd... th guy i mentioned above, tat came up 3 tyms...
=x had a hard time rejecting...
so gave email lor... since i can block him anytime...
at least it feels more secure than xchanging phone numbers...

i wonder...

2009-12-18T04:52:00.003+11:00

i wonder if she reli misses me as much as i do...
i wan to try to salvage our f/s,
but i know tat b4 doing tat,
we nd to hav a heart to heart talk...
tats wad i dread th most...
cos i know, tat it would be veri straightforward,
n i am gonna cry like shit...
i know since when th prob started,
i know y,
but i duno how to make things clear...
cos things weren't how she thought...
i cherished her...
i treat her as an older sis...
i liked it when when guide me through my daily life...
but she feels tat i take her for granted,
n tat i dun cherish her...
i cherished her, but its jus tat i duno how to make her feel so....
i feel damm miserable,
n kinda jealous of ppl ard her...
yup, i admit it...
but she duno tat...
her reply seems cold, n feels tat she's pissed wit me...
is she? i duno...
i reli wan to hav a heart to heart talk wit her...
but i've gt no guts,
n i duno i should call her, or email her...
cos both of us is super busy...
i duno, i am scared...
i am really afraid of revealing my soft side...
nnn i duno how to make my point across...
n, i duno how to let her know tat actually frenship comes before everything...
=x
maybe she'll read this, maybe not...
i duno... i jus feel tat i am useless...
cos i am a coward...
i jus gt no guts to confess my inner feelings...
i wished tat we gt th mo qi...
then we can understand each other's thoughts witout even saying...

i've just realised...

2009-12-18T04:41:00.002+11:00

i've just realised...
my sis n i are constantly talking about th past,
n trying to do wad we did b4...
y? think its cos our memories in th past are sweet,
without any worries...
th oni difference is tat she wants to c dad,
while i wan to avoid tat...
i duno y, cos...
i dun wan to rmb th past wit dad...
though these are sweet memories,
but... i oways made stupid wishes...
i wished tat th whole family can stay tgh in s'pore,
and then family can giv me sense of secure...
but, now, i know tat will nvr happen...
nnn tat sense of security i yearn is impossible...
nobody can giv me tat...
cos there no person tat can stay by my side foreva...
nobody except family can giv me tat...
butbutbut...
up till now, i can't feel tat i can a family...
i've my family members,
butbutbut it doesn't feels like family...
i jus feel alone...
like my siblings, i kinda feel tat i am an orphan...
especially when i am th oldest...
i've got no one to rely on...
i can't trust adults,
dey can't be trusted...
nnn my siblings, dey duno a single thing...
dey duno how i feel...
who am i gonna trust?
i can oni trust myself, n i dun feel secure...

2009-12-16T21:18:00.003+11:00

alrights, ytd n todae is my off day...
spent my ytd wit my sis...
i got pulled out of bed at bout 10am,
then left hse at 11+
bused to parkway, walked to east coast...
saw xuying in th bus... but i 4gt to sae bye to her b4 going off
at east coast, walked to th place to rent skates,
then rent a locker to keep our belongings...
skated to bedok jetty, n rested there...
saw bayshore, n rmbed our happie times there...
=/ lets not elaborate on that...
then we took pics n chatted...
think we sat there damm long bah...
nnn we saw many ppl going there n left...
then there's 2 weird guys tat took pics?
wadeva...
then skated back slowly, after we took off th skates,
my legs turn jelly... i can't walk straight...
then we both walked to a cafe n slacked...
i ate a bread n durian pudding...
then used laptop awhile, n walked to east coast
went to bought smth at fairprice n popular,
then walked to parkway parade
changed, n then went to fox to c my ex-colleagues
then shopped...
saw chewy there...
didn't know that she worked at parkway promotion...
yup, then chatted, n walked off...
shopped awhile n went home
slept in th bus...
yupyup, took lots of pics...
after sis gave me th photos then i'll post it...

todae... woke up veri late,
by a stranger tat called me, n asked me to be his friend?
weird... wadeva lah, i said no
then lie on th bed awhile, cos my leg's aching...
especially my ankle...
haiz... tmrw nd to work... sian lah... it means nd to stand th whole day...
besides standing, wad i dread about work is to face th sony shop...
cos of some reasons...
i feel that i am being stared or smth...
i kept avoiding to look inside th shop... =x
lalas~

2009-12-13T07:20:00.002+11:00

watched new moon wit some classmates today...
alrights~ i like th movie... but this time, i gt nobody to ask during th movie...
=x cos pam ignored me when i asked... =(
then i am clueless about some jokes...
after movie, went to eat, chat then home...

missed out on ice treats jus now... =(
manager treated th rest to ice cream for breaking their target... =)
but nvm, sikuan said he will treat me...
lalas~ actually dun think he will...
but if he does, den gd! =)

haiz... went to rebb's blog jus now...
agn, had th same feeling...
i missed out on alot... =/
nnn i realised that my close friends nvr really contact me...
i duno... th kind of feeling is like...
being abandoned, betrayed n a touch of lost
yeap, i know, its not others fault...
like what everyone told me,
its cos of th way i interact with them in th past,
when we were close...
i duno, its th way i live... i can't change...
but deep down in my heart, i cherish everybody...
its just that nobody feels it...
even if a person asks me, i won't admit...
tats me... butbutut...
seems that nobody can accept th me...
that conceals my emotions n feelings...
=/
yeap, this post sounds alil emo... wit a touch of regret...
butbutbut... i felt that way for weeks...
though my few posts b4 this gt talk on this topic...
but... i feel that its not enough...
i can't get it off my mind...
i am wondering... y,y,y ppl meet up, without asking me?
am i unwanted in their meetings?
wad made them feel so?
y? issit another habit of my??

i miss everyone...

2009-12-12T09:00:00.003+11:00

lalas~ tmrw off...
worked for 4 days till 9, then sleep th whole day,
n work 2 days, till todae...
yupyup, work is tiring n at times boring...
sometimes irritated wit customers... sometimes scared...
cos of some weird experiences... blas~ nt going to blog it...
wanna noe? ask me... =x
i had fun working at times...
cos i gt ppl to bully, poke n disturb... =D
hahas~ exp rouhcheng n sikuan...
hahas~ den our age is like ascending de...
i youngest, followed by sikuan 18, then rouhcheng 19...
kelian de rouhcheng, cos sikuan oways call her aunty... hahas...
lalas~ made alot of mistakes while using cashier...
then rosemary decided that i shouldn't use it... =x
haiz... i thought i can practice on making bag tag n do cashier...
butbutbut... =x can't
lalas~ lets not talk about work... cos its th same everyday...

i jus went to jess's fb to look at pics...
haiz... i realised many things...
we haven met out for a longlonglonglong timmmmeeee....
be it 2 person tgh, or as a grp...
haiz... i hope tat we can meet up as 2 person oni...
cos i haven had a heart to heart talk for a LONG time...
think its been about 1 yr?
since sch reopens, we've been always rushing... no tym to chat...
unlike th past, when we can chat on th phone for HOURS...
like fr i wake up, to dinner time... =x
now, its either her phone can't reach, or that either 1 of us is working...
hmmm.... i've decided!i going to contact her... tmrw? i mean ltr...
cos she work office rite? so sat should be half day...
great!!!!!!!!!!!!! i've made up my mind =D
hahas~ =x
butbutbutbut... i oso wanna meet up wit sq, heard about her family through rebb's blog...
=xbut i didn't contact her...
cos i know she will be quite upset...
nnn i duno how to anwei her...
i am afraid tat ltr try to console her, then suddenly the atmosphere is like sooo cold... =x
haiz...
yupyup, i admit... i always avoid emotional situations... =x
cos i duno how to react... =x =/
haiz... kk, hope sq's feeling better right now...

haiyo, i think actually i wan to meet everyone lah... =x
cos i oso wish to meet the art gang, band cliques, 5n1, 6-7, also nadirah n emily fr fox... =x
hope everyone is living their life happily right now... =/
i miss them all~~

2009-12-08T06:09:00.002+11:00

ARRRGH!!!! i'm feeling sick!!!!
actually is about to fall sick... =(
but i hate that feeling...
cos tat meant that i am going to feel veri xinku
arrrgh! but i dun c doctor de...
meaning, i am going to feel veri xinku for a longer period of time...
=(
aiyo... tmrw or ltr still working... ='(
REN REN REN!!!!
arrgh!!!

complains...

2009-12-07T05:17:00.002+11:00

blogging about today...
1st, i finally know how to walk to lasalle n simlim sq...
2nd, i finally found a place that sells hongkong dim sum
3rd, i bought my laptop charger le =D
but... I WAS SCAMMED!!!!
it costs $20++, but the person charge $70... =(
now, i am broke...
then after all these, i went to work...
arrrgh! my throat hurts!!!! OMG think i am going to fall sick soon...
T_T
nnnn after work, i found that i am addicted to lashes!!! I wanna buy lots of lash asap!!
=x i know that i am random... lalas~
btw, i added many of my ppl fr gift a name =D
hahas~ i made quite a few friends alr...
rou cheng, heather, christina, maggie n sikuan...
yup, i still wanna dig out th others fr fb n add dem =D

2009-12-06T02:22:00.002+11:00

blogging on the bus... it sucks!
cos i gotta rush, as i nd to save batt...
cos... MY CHARGER IS NOT WORKING!!!!
wadeva...
worked wit boss's nephew... duno how to spell his name...
ok lah... he's a joker, n keep disturbing me... grrrrrrrrrr
den boss's daughter came down... talked alil...
ok lah... tats all lor...
haiz...
but todae n tmrw all do 1pm... =(
meaning it drains my salary...!!
how? =(
my salary is alr so lil... hope there's no more 1P.M.s alr...
=/ i aim at least 1 k this mth... hope it can come true =D
btw, bus's reaching home alr... =x gtg...

2009-12-05T01:10:00.002+11:00

OMG I LOVE MY BLOGSKIN!!!
hahas~ =x i noe... its weird for me to say this suddenly...
butbutbut... the lady in my blogskin soooo sexy...
nnn... th words truely express how i feel... =x
those were the words i am trying to search for, to express out...
=x ok, i am lame... wadeva...~

haiz... today's my off day...
nnn know what? yesterday i was late for work...
my work starts at 10.30, but i arrived at 12pm...
damm idiot rite? haiz... i felt guilty, and went there by cab...
know what? MY CAB FARE IS $11.40!!!
soo ex... then when i arrived, i rushed up to gift a name...
then started work... damm boring... wished that time can pass very quickly...
then went down to help th promo area...
saw boss's nephew... he tried to disturb me!!
but nvm... alot of ppl do that... but its jus that i dun even know him leh...
nvm...
then he left, n i worked wit rou cheng, n heather...
then rosemary came... thought she's going to scold me or smth...
but she didn't =D
then worked till 10, n left...

today off... did nth much...
repainted my nails, go fb n watch tv...
btw, i recieved sms fr rosemary for me to come on 1pm instead of 10.30 am...
=x hope this oni applies tmrw, instead of everyday... cos if that happens, means my salary gonna be lesser... =x
wanna everything pass quickly, n peacefully until christmas...
so i can rest...

=/ n maybe i gotta find another job agn...
duno wad kind of job to find....
branded fashion retail assistant? or what?
i am interested in helping sch... since i am familar wit th sch
but... my results suck! duno if th sch even wants me...
but... if i work there,
i can go band often, c th bandmates, able to go art room n use th materials,
hav a conducive environment for me to start my portfolio... =/
hav to stop dreaming alr... since th chances for sch to wan me is soooo lil...

haiz... =x i wanna meet everyone out!!!
omg! my work n off days are boring!!!

2009-12-03T07:11:00.002+11:00

these days, alot of ppl hav been addicted to twitter...
feel tempted to try out leh...
cos twitter will be veri convenient for me to complain, since nobody is willing to hear me rant...

OFF DAYS

2009-12-03T05:17:00.002+11:00

this month, my off days cmf alr...
its dec 1, 4, 7, 10, 13, 16, 19, 22, n then after 27
27 is my last day!!!!!! =D but gt to find job alr...
wad am i gonna do?! =x

its like FINALLY!!!

2009-12-03T03:54:00.003+11:00

finally i changed my blogskin...
think i used the previous 1 for about 2 years le leh...
kept saying i want to change, but its either too lazy or too tired...
i changed th skin last nite, n dozed off while changing it... =x
yeap, work is tiring...
haiz... =/ seriously, feel lost...
=( i duno y, but i feel tat after o's, everyone is drifting away fr me...
haiz... i duno... ppl who used to be close to me, i can't seem to contact them...
=( i feel tat dey are avoiding me...
i duno... am i being too sensitive?
actually, i am lah...
but i can't help it but feel so...
example 1 of my best friend of 5yrs... tried to contact her, but she mia?
actually nt mia, but nvr reply me...
i feel tat she kinda of dislike me? =x
=( i duno, i feel lost... i wan our f/s to be like b4,
but feels tat she dun wan that to happen... =( i duno...
='( i feel lost... i duno wad to do... ...
=( i miss those times... really... =/ i really want things to go back to the past!
i know that i am greedy... nnn i duno deny tat i am jealous...
i feel so isolated...

2009-11-22T03:54:00.002+11:00

SOOOO TIRED...
for the whole week, i am tiring myself out...
after the last paper, i went shopping for prom stuffs,
all the way until tuesday, when i go for th band camp...
1st nite slept at 5+am cos chatted wit marvin...
then the 2nd n 3rd nite too tired... so i am the 1st to sleep, last to wake up...
then 4th dae... PROM...
went home later then usual cos overslept, n rain...
then went home, rush all my prom stuffs...
was late cos i planned to meet my friends...
then went alone, and tied my hair on cab cos nt enough time
then rushed there, grabbed eunice, n go to the toilet...
cos i zhao geng agn...
then during prom... took pictures...
then go sq's hse... then sing a song for al, run away fr silver,
crap, then go home...
today, woke up late, then rushed to work...
wow... work damm sian, n tiring...
haiz... todae half-shift...
haiz... duno lah... monday full shift...
duno how to survive... urrrgh!!! i am dead....

2009-11-16T08:42:00.001+11:00

went to shop at far east n go westwind concert todae...
woke up late, rush to take lrt then mrt...
met agnes, go eat then far east...
shopped for my dresses...
=x i super fussy lah. keep saying this nt nice, tat not nice...
then after about 1hr, gt to lower my expectations...
so bought the dress shown below

looks quite bargal rite? =x this tym i won't deny tat lah
cos i still wan to wear boots
i tried at the store... looks alright, almost like what i want to find...
then finally bought it...
butbutbut~
when i bought it home to try again,
i found out that the dress alil too big...
it wan like AGAIN... last yr de dress oso big lor... its m size...
but this dress is free size de...
oni hope tat it can shrink...=x or else i will really look like bargal lah...
the sleeves will drop de... i rather tight fitting dress...

the rose above is made using straw.
though mini, it looks nice =D

the wire above is made by me, to miss tong's baby, on friday
her tat tym i didn't noe tat her eng name is chloe...
so i made this jiaxuan wire for her... =D
can use as book mark, or decoration =)

2009-11-14T06:28:00.004+11:00

the blue eyes wit tears i drawn, olevel paper 2

those were stuffs tat kept me alive during olevels period

gifts given by mr lim n miss lo...
darling tissues, love shaped chocolates, pen , toothpick to keep our eyes open n raisins for vitamin C

after 2 years of chionging, its finally over

2009-11-13T07:36:00.002+11:00

after 2 years of chionging, olevels is finally over
actually wanted to blog ytd, but i am simply too lazy to do so...
haven been sitting down to blog properly for a veri long time...
cos my previous post all done in a rush, when i am emoing?
lalalas~ olevels finished yesterday, but it feels like its been more than a week
weird... y is this so? maybe its cos i am nt used to it...
anyway, i'll start to blog about today...
slept for 3hrs in the morning, n forced myself wake up at 9+
then change, head to cp
met wit ac, saw band members
then sit mrt, meet pam at kovan
go bowling, my score sucks, n my nail polish colour wear off...
then go shop, eat then head to ps, shopped for cosmetics,
then look around if there is a suitable gift for ppl tat i owe b'dae gifts...
then we find a place to rest, then head to tampines...
we were late, n still gt to find the meeting place...
then we all head to T1
decided to eat in a restaurant.
then chatted, went to toilet then part wit jess n sq
the rest went shopping... haiz... still can't find a dress i like...
then went to take bus...
27 too crowded... then took another bus to pasir ris, then back home...
regreted alil, cos think tat if we took 27, we might reach home earlier...
then bused home...

haiz... i wonder if i am too sensative?
i feel tat we are drifting further apart...
i tried to create topics for us to chat about, but u would just give me a short, sharp reply
but when talking to others, u can be cheerful, talk alot n wadsoeva...
i think i am alil jealous...
i duno y, though i knew i am being selfish...
but... u nvr let me know that i am still your friend...
or i am still living in the past?
during sec 1 to 4, chatting happily,
mentioning n informing one another stuffs...
maybe u might not really like those,
but those memories are precious to me... i really wish to go back to that time...
i duno, but since this year, i feel that we are drifting further n further...
i duno... but i feel its partially cos of tat incident at fernvale there...
i tried to forget about it,
but when trying to break the ice between us n looking at ur reply,
i can't help it, but think about that...
i know i am not totally right, but i nvr say that you all are totally wrong...
i duno what you are thinking...
seriously, i prefer when you used to be frank, n tell me what you dislike about me...
though it hurts, n might be shocking, but i still know why ain't u happy
but now, you dun look happy to be with me, and you don't mention wads wrong...
like that, how am i supposed to refrain myself, so tat u won't dislike me any further...?
seriously, u are my best friend from sec 1-4, and i don't wan to lose this friend...
am i being greedy? hope not...
but... i really really don't wan the end of olevels to end our f/s,
since we were close friends back then...
i don't know if you treat me as a close friend anot, but i feel so...
though i know u might not read this, i still wan to post it here...
cos i've been keeping this in my heart, and can't let them all out since the starting of the year...
after xf's camp, i realised that u do not inform me of band's stuffs,
n after today when i asked if we should go on sun tgh, ur reply made me feel i am a stranger...
i duno y, i can't feel the close feeling we had...
i dun wan to lose u, but i still had to write...
if i am going to keep this inside any longer, i will drift even further away, which i dun wish to happen...

2009-11-05T04:04:00.003+11:00

olevels is almost over... left last paper...
actually quite lazy to blog,
but cos there's many stuffs on my mind, and i feel tat nobody wants to hear all these craps...
=x nnn i think my olevels die le... cos i nvr finish all my papers except for english leh...
tat sucks lah! just pray hard that results won't be very bad...
nnn noe wad? i had a scary nightmare during the exams period...
i dreamt that i was late for emaths olevels paper for about 2 hrs...
then not allowed to go in...
then when i was pondering over it, tang came over and asked
"rence, how's the paper"
and that made me super sad... but weird leh...
y suddenly gt tang? maybe cos he keep saying that my results bad n blabla...?
think so bah... haiz...
nnn noe wad? i super sway...
on the 1st day and 3rd day of olevels, i had diarrhea and both days 3tyms sumore...
its unsual for me to hav diarrhea lor... sumore that caused me to lose my appetite for the day, and i ate a meal that 2 days...
think olevels caused me to have unhealthy diet...
for 4 days, i have been eating veri little
i either only eat 1 or half a meal a day... duno if its cos the meal sucks, or my prob... =x
nnnnnnnnnnnnn =(
i duno y, these days i've been think bout my P n the D stuffs...
i duno y... it started when i was watching a show, and they played a christmas song 'silent night'
that song reminds me of the last trip i gone as a F
and the last christmas spent tgh...
i said last, is cos i feel that that can never happen again...
i cannot celebrate christmas or go overseas as a family again...
maybe go wit a F member, but there will always be at least sum1 missing...
during that period, though P are bz, we still stay as a F for only 2 months...
during that time i was happy, but hoped that we can stay in s'pore instead of hk,
cos for th prev few yrs, i wished that i can stay as a F tgh...
that time seriously happy, and it feels dreamy...
though its happy, right now when think of it,
it feels super sad... i reli hated myself for being so stupid...
i believed my P, when they said they will come bk...
but... so damm stupid lah! that is a lie... we can nvr be tgh as a F... =(
wadeva, since its hard for me to truely believe someone again...
haiz... silent night... the song is nice, feels dreamy, but reminds me of my sad memories again... i really want to lose my memory, and not remember about those...
sometimes i that life is meaningless for me...
if only my P nvr giv birth to me, then i dun nd to endure those craps...
how i wish that i weren't born... =( T.T

2009-09-28T21:54:00.009+08:00

cooled down already...=)
ya, like what i said, its graduation ceremony today...
what i can say is that this year, the graduating students benefit alot,
compared to last year's graduating students...
last year, the graduation ceremony isn't so big affair...
and this year, the school gave us a bear and class photos...
that adds on to my collection of bears...
i've just realised that all the soft toys i have are all bears...
be it care bears, pooh bear n just normal bears...

this are what the school given us today...

the blue 1 is given by alast, last year Christmas gift
pooh, i bought them myself... =x oso duno y...
the green 1 that is wrapped up is given by school today... there's a phss badge there too!!

this 2... my birthday presents...
the yellow 1 is given 2 years ago...
the big 1 is given last year... =)
i think i no need to buy bears anymore...
all my soft toys are bear...

lalalas~ tmrw i'm going to hand up my artwork to seab already...
haiz...
though my artwork looks incomplete,
i got to accept that fact already...
teacher just don't let me do any changes to my artwork...
nevermind, since its my fault...
but... i am not happy with something,
which is that 4e5 are still allowed to touch up on their art last week...
when i know that, i feel like wth!! i feel that teachers are biased lah
y are there difference in the way they treat us?
teachers tend to go to their help and neglect us,
and scold us when both groups are late...
haiz...
wadever... but i am still worried about my art...
what will those markers feel when they see my work?
is it incomplete? =(
i am scared that i can't get the grades that i need to get into lasalle...
can i get a1?
if i can't, what will my grade be?
is my grade enough to get me into lasalle?
haiz...
i hope that my paper 2 can help to pull up my marks...
though i just pass my art p2, i think with hardwork, i can get the grades i want...
=) YES! i can do it!!! =D

pissed

2009-09-28T19:16:00.002+08:00

screamed at the top of my voice just now...
cos my idiot sis wake me up from my nap...
for me to find a time to sleep is so hard...
it is today that is special cos its the graduating ceremony...
i feel soso when i reach home, and alil tired...
when i finally fall aslp,
my idiotic sis wake me up cos she wants to shower...
why can't she shower when she reach home?
y must wait until i come home den shower
den tell her later den come in,
she insist of taking the key to open the door...
hello, know what is privacy?
i damm pissed lah! i intend to take another 15mins nap den open...
den she made me so angry that i screamed and shout at the top of my voice,
and i can't get back to sleep alr...
instead, i feel so like crying and pull her hair...
FK!!! it seriously spoil my mood lah!
i wan to be civilized, but... it irritates me lah
is that my communication skills sucks?
y can't people just understand what i am talking about?
sometimes i feel like smashing stuffs in the middle of a conversation...
i made myself so clear that i will open later...
y can't she just understand?
arrrrgh!!! I just wish that i stay alone,
when there is nobody to irritate me, or quarrel with me...
at least i won't get pissed so often...
urrragh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HATE SIS!!!!!

complain complain n complains....~

2009-09-28T01:15:00.002+08:00

=x blogging late at night again...
but, i feel like blogging leh...
although everybody is busy studying that they have no time to read my blog...
but i think that this blog is the only place that i can like complain?
cos when i start to complain, everybody will be like... dun bother to listen...
so right here when i complain here, i do not have to see the frustrated faces of people...
haiz... =x so i'll start...
=x now everybody are busy studying, except for me...
i know i should start, but i am still the same...
lying there, duno how to start, and duno where to start...
i shouldn't be doing that now... i know
but thats me...
the habit of sleeping late and wake up late can't change...
and during weekdays, staying back after school tires me out...
whenever i reach home, i either take a nap then proceed to eat n stuffs...
or tv...
ya, thats my fault...
but seriously, i am sick of going to school
its tiring...
and i feel that i am learning nothing...
teachers come in n go through assignments given to us...
but staying back after school is tiring enough for me.
doing the assignments really tire me out...
haiz...
when i am complaining, i keep thinking bout advice ppl gave me...
all of them say the same thing... time management...
i know, n i also want to manage my time correctly...
but... all my habits...
how to change? =(
again, i can picture people telling to stop watching tv, stop using com...
i wonder... if there is any other ways to solve the problem?

muscle ache...

2009-09-25T00:13:00.002+08:00

haiz... my whole body is aching... =(
now walking n even stretching is a chore...
=x i know i am not supposed to blog at this time of the day,
let alone complain about muscle ache...
but i need to complain!!! =x
haiz... the cause of all these aches were cause of pe, and also carry my work bk...
ya, my nlevel art is given back to us already...
=) mr chia said the school only need to keep for 3 months...
after that we can take back...
so, we took them back lor...
but yj de can't, cos of some reasons...
den she smsed miss tong, but miss tong is unaware that the artwork were given back...
then miss tong also say that we are not supposed to bring back...
but what's done can't be undone...
so how?
i duno, but maybe we've got to return the artworks...
but hope the school won't be unreasonable by making us return them...

2009-09-17T23:46:00.004+08:00

turned 17 at 17/09/09
hahas~ the number like veri nice hor??
lalalas~ i am being lame... =x
todae is so-so, a normal school day...
got my art results... scored 50%...
=( though finally passed, i feel tat it sucks!
=( i seriously doubt tat i can get into lasalle or even nafa...
haiz...
den after school, the gals sae wan go eat lunch...
went kfc... ate nth much, but drank alot of water...
den they lead me to the 2nd floor, beside lrt station...
saw a cake...
n then they sang a song, and wished me...
=x but tat tym i've got nothing much to sae...
nothing comes to my mind... =x
then green man came, n sae can't eat there...
we went to other place to cut cake,
and eat...
=) the cake is chocolate cream cake!! =D
but its too sweet... =x i can't eat too sweet stuffs... =x=x=x
but nvm, i enjoyed todae... =)

thanks girls, thanks for celebrating my birthday even though u are busy at this period...
thanks alot!!

=(

2009-09-14T20:42:00.002+08:00

todae is the last day of prelims, which is the sci mcq n art paper...
didn't slp the whole night cos i was drawing...
then in the end, during my science paper, i almost dozed off
drank coffee during the break but nvr eat...
then during art paper, i spent lots of tym on body,
in the end my background cmi... its just using colour pencil to draw shape of a tree...
took 2 mins...
urrrgh!! it sucks lor....
how am i going to use my p2 to pull my p1 marks?!
haiz...
den while walking home, feel hungry, faint and alil lyk vomitting...
then went home, n napped....
at least hav ard 4hrs of slp... =D
haiz... tmrw gt to go sch... =(
i reli wan a day to rest leh... rest, n not think bout olevels... tats wad i wan =D
but... =( that can nvr happen till i finish my last olevels paper...
n btw, i think my last paper is art agn...
URGH!!! feel so....
duno how to describe...
my art how?
p1 submitting on next wk...
then p2 gt tym limit...
what can i do? be prepared for the worst?
retake my arts next year?
but i wan to get into lasalle or atleast nafa...
but if i score veri badly or average for art,
even if i meet the requirements to go into the sch, i might not be able to get in...
then what should i do?
retake my olevels?
i feel tat i am lyk wasting my time like this lor...
haiz... =( i reli got no idea how my future will be like... =(

complaining...

2009-09-12T00:45:00.004+08:00

=( have been drawing for half a day...
so sian... =(
arrrrghh!! i am bored to death le lah... =(
i feel that i lack smth...
duno wad is it... snacks? ppl to disturb? or wad?
haiz... n tym passes veri quickly...
know what? i showered for 1hr +
=( haiz... i didn't even know that i showered for so long...
wasted alot of time lor... can't watch the show i am waiting for...
haiz... =(
i duno lah... it feels weird... duno y, but weird...
haiz...

2009-09-11T01:11:00.001+08:00

todae's a sucky day...
hp gt confiscated! urgh!!!
that spoiled my mood for the day...

2009-09-05T03:21:00.004+08:00

wow! after showering, i feel better... lalas~ decided to change the colour to a dull colour...
cause it feels stupid when people read that post...
being easily scared, frightened and shocked cause of my surroundings?
i guess i was just being paranoid... =x
hope that i can dun think too much... then not scared... =D
btw, these are photos related to todae's party =)

this is the card i made for rebb to paste together with the big card... a pity i didn't take a picture of that card... =( but nvm =) cos its the 1st time i wrote chinese characters on a card, and its quite sucessful! =D

this is how it looks when its opened...

actually sent her a mms of her edited fb picture wishing her happy birthday... =x but too bad... cos rebb can't recieve mms... =(

but anyways, if you read this post rebb, i wish u a happie belated b'dae! hope tat all your wishes come true, and olevels reach your target grades =D

2009-09-05T01:19:00.003+08:00

todae is fun!! celebrated rebb's birthday =)
though fun, n there's a crowd, rebb dun seem very surprised... =x
but nvm...
though fun,
right now i feel so crying... ok, i am tearing already...
i duno why i can't get rid of those negative thoughts... =(
i am feeling very frightened just now...
i duno y... is it cause my sis tried to scare me just now?
or the coffee i drank in the morning...?
i duno y, i feel at unease since afternoon, when i see foreign workers setting up a temp hse?
but in the afternoon is not tat frightening
but when i go out, sis said stuffs to frighten me...
then i saw the joss sticks, then walk through the dark pavement...
then to sq hse...
then i feel at ease...~
but when everyone started to play wit cream,
i ran around the place,
then saw the joss sticks... got alil scared again...
then the motorcycle scared me out of my wits...
i knew its heading somewhere behind me, n my normal reaction is to move away.
but i duno y, i stand there as if nth happened,
then turn there again, and jumped!
jumped as in shocked! but tat kind of reaction is lyk wtf
cos i shouldn't react like that... =(
n i guess the driver is shocked, n oso wondering why am i reacting like that...
cos its obvious that i knew its presence...
haiz... wondering wads wrong wit me...
then the grp get too loud n sq's dad shouted...
i got shocked again... =(
then we slowly pack up... then go home...
i am the only person walking home...
then while walking to the road,
i duno y, i feel scared... cos of the surroundings? i am afraid of stepping on joss sticks,
i am afraid of animals, i am afraid of strangers... =x
i duno y, i am so easily frightened today...
then even when i cross the road, the taxi driver horned(looks weird)
i think cos he thought tat i wan to take taxi home...
but then i gt scared again...
haiz... =( i think i am paranoid today... =(
='( tat sucks! duno y i am feeling scared so easily today... =(

2009-09-03T22:37:00.003+08:00

ugh! i bought something online again... =x
die lah... i keep buying stuffs... overspend already lah...

haiz... i hate to study at home...
at home, instead of studying, i do all other stuffs...
eeeee... tat sucks!
i need to study!!!!

2009-09-01T13:37:00.004+08:00

feels like nothing goes right in my life right now...
i don't know... but i have been feeling like that for weeks already...
i feel that i can't make the right decisions... i can't make up my mind about anything...
=( i oways regret every decisions i made...
seriously, i think i need somebody to tell n teach me what to do...
but seems like i can't find anyone free to listen about whatever i am thinking... =(
ARGH!! i am going crazy!!! ='(
its not that i want to post negative stuffs here...
but its cause that i have no choice...
the reason that i haven been posting here is cause that i want to post negative stuffs...
so instead of posting, i keep quiet about that...
but i duno... i really duno what to do ='(

2009-08-23T01:35:00.002+08:00

i don't know how to use words to describe my feeling now... :'(
.
.
.
i haven complete my prep board,
and teacher says that there is already no touch up session.
what am i going to do?
i really don't wish to give up my art.
without finishing the prep board, even if my final is perfect also no use.
sumore my final is not perfect.
and i am not confident of doing well in my p2.
with all these negative points,
my chance of getting a1 is 0%!
seriously, though i looked as if i dun care about negative comments about my art from people,
i tried to make it appear as nice as possible.
even though teacher says i didn't have chance of getting an a1,
i don't believe.
as long as i have alittle time to do something to it, i still have a chance to get a1.
but now, teacher say that no more touch ups.
what am i going to do?!
i need that a1!
i want to get into art course!
without that grade, i have a low chance of getting in!
sumore, even if i get in, i still can't accept that!
i don't feel that its my best work, and i will never be satisfied with it!
like chinese, even though i got the grade i want, i am still not satisfied.
ya, it is my standard.
i improved.
but the thing is that i never put in my best, and its incomplete.
i hate handing incomplete work!
=( i don't wish to have that feeling again.
i really want to complete it...
i can imagine how i feel when i receive my results if i can't complete it.
i know, i should get this off mind, and just do my p2 and also study other subjects.
but i can't do that!!!!!!
i can't forget that!!!
i really want to perfect my work...
i don't want my work to be submitted when it is flawed
incomplete work means flawed work too
urgh!!!!
can't this just disappear from my mind?

i hate being a perfectionist when it comes to my own work...

2009-08-19T22:16:00.002+08:00

th mother tongue results are out...
i have gt a c6.
yes, i passed...
but i have got a pass, i slept during paper 3 and paper 2...
i duno if i should feel happy about the fact that i passed,
or feel unhappy that i did not do my best during the exams.
i feel that the night b4 th exams if i have sufficient sleep,
maybe my grades can be better...
though i tell ppl that i don't want to retake cause i finally passed,
but i am seriously wondering if i should retake the exams.
cause even when my oral have a pass,
i can also improve when i do finish my paper.
only when i finish my paper 2, then i can say that i did my best for th exams.
so, should i be satisfied with my pass, or i should try my best???

2009-08-18T19:57:00.002+08:00

tomorrow is the day mother tongue's results out.
hope that i can pass, so that i no need to retake chinese papers. >_<
**pray hard**

2009-07-14T18:44:00.002+08:00

i keep telling myself i want to post on my blog... but never do that cause i am too lazy...
=/ supposed to be at art ace, but cos was uninformed bout the ace, nvr bring colour pencil.
so go alr oso no use... then go home... had to go prep board...
but decided tat i take a nap 1st =x
haiz... todae is mt oral. i know my reading cmi already.
but luckily, the examiner got distracted cos of a spilled coffee... so hope i won't get too low marks.
the conversation... duno wad to say. but i crapped alot!
hahas~ its bout teenagers nt liking to exercise...
then they ask. what are the benefits of exercising? then i replied. 'can lose weight'
then she asked 'uh? are you fat?' and she looked surprise... =x
this question is unexpected sia... i thought tat she would just nod her head... =x
den spin some craps for her lor... =x

back to previous few days....
then saturday, went to school, practice oral, then go home, then go out wit sis.
went to bugis, ate at some hk restraunt. veri full.
then study, then shop for dress... but dun intend to wear them...

then sunday, slacked the whole day...

monday... lessons!! =.=
then otw home at the bus, saw a cute gal... so hyper!! n keep smiling...
hehes~ SOOOO CUTEEEEEE~~~~

2009-07-10T19:33:00.002+08:00

TIRED!!! i survived 1 week of doing hw nonstop...
nt really do nonstop lah... but do until i going crazy...
everyday do hw in sch till 6, then go home...
slacked n napped till bout 12+, then do hw... =x
its like no life...
i spend so much time on the hw, and i still left alot undone... =(
and to add on to my troubles,
i have got to hand up all my artworks on thursday.
thats so sudden!! though i will try my best to do art,
i am nt confident of submiting my work on time...
=( feel like releasing those pent up frustrations on my mind,
but can't find a way without disturbing ppl... =( gt no choice... keep inside.
hmmm....
alot of things is on my mind... haiz...
but i think cos too tired or what, can't sort them out... =( nvm
but wanted to update the class blog de...
but too tired, n no mood... =x
nnn tmrw gt to go sch... =( haix...
can't slp till noon agn... but gt to go sch... i wan to pass mt oral!!
=/ i think i gt nth to blog le... my mind is empty now... =( can't think about anything

2009-07-06T22:07:00.002+08:00

hmmmm... was reading amica magazine last night or early this morning...
read about touring around hongkong, and they mention about this place.
The Victoria Peak.
or smth like that...
=/ thought about last time when i went there and enjoy this scenery...
i remember sitting somewhere,
and remember the previous time i went there...
hmmm... at that time,
i don't know anything, and that trip is somewhat a surprise for me,
as it is planned last min.
in addition, we went there as a family...
i remember that time, there are no troubles, or sad memories.
but instead, i don't know anything, and enjoy the scenery with my sister.
=/ at that time, i didn't know how lucky i am to have this feeling.
i thought that i can experience that multiple times in future.
=/ hmmm... how i wish that i can go back to the past,
when the whole family can go abroad together,
and that was the time i do not have anything to worry about.
plus, my parents will bring us to view the nice scenery... =/
miss those days...~

2009-07-04T20:36:00.003+08:00

blas~...
i find that there is something wrong with me seriously...
cos... i sleep and wake up at the wrong time...
and i eat one meal today only...
i think i broke my record of eating more than one meal a day...
las~ i am dead... i have got alot of holidays homework still not done!!!
=(